It's Okay to Ask for Help Sometimes

 Good Morning Blogger Fam!

I have learned many things this past year. The first thing I want w weeks ago about is an experience I had a few weeks ago. As many of you know when I was a senior in high school I tore the ligaments in my right foot. I ran a track meet on the Thursday and my dad picked me up because it was at Skyview and he works in Hyrum. We went to the grocery store to get milk I said dad my foot hurts he said, Willy it will feel better tomorrow. I was like you are right no big deal I went on limping through the grocery store and then when we got home we did the nightly doings. I woke up the next morning in pain that I had never felt before, went about my day hoping people would not ask me to move. I told my mom at lunch I needed to go to the doctor and when I ask to go to the doctor I am DYING!!!! I never want to go to the doctor. We went a few x-rays later Jill I am sorry to tell you, that your track season is probably over that was the first meet of the season. I said are you sure he said I am sorry your ligaments are torn and they need to heal. Maybe in a few weeks we can try running but I need to make sure they are better. Anyway, they got better I could walk again and life was INCREDIBLE! I have been on so many adventures since then. He always said my foot would ache with the change of the weather but I have not felt the pain that I felt that day in over 10 and a half years. 

Two weeks ago December 1, 2020 I was sitting and talking with my roommate and my foot started hurting me being Jill Dallon was like it will feel better in the morning. I went to bed and prayed for a miracle because I knew that without my Heavenly Father's help I wouldn't be able to walk. Did it feel like I could run a marathon? NO! Did it feel like I could work? NO! Did I go to work and pretend everything was fine? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!  I went to work and limped I tried so hard to walk normal but the pain was winning today. I would hold a desk for a minute until I could bare the pain again. I walked my kids to P.E. then I stopped and asked admin a question. They asked me the question that I had been avoiding all day because I knew the tears would come and they wouldn't stop. I am tough, I have a high pain tolerance. But today the pain had won! They asked me why I was walking funny and the tears streamed down my face as I tried to pretend everything was fine. I told them my foot hurt and they said I will go and get your kids from P.E.. Do you need some ice or anything? Ms. Dallon please just sit and don't walk around we are not mad if you sit today. I knew that sitting meant I had failed my kids, just because I was in pain didn't mean that they didn't need to learn. A kind sir walked up to the side of me at the academic office and started to say my name he saw the tears and he just waited. We then walked down the hall together and he we pretended like I didn't just let my guard down and cry. We chatted I said if you need me I will be in my chair at my desk. I got to my desk and texted him. Not that I had to explain myself to him because I don't but I wanted him to know that I trust him enough to know that I am not okay. He was so kind to me and asked if I needed anything. I learned on those days that it is okay to ask for help because sometimes we all need a little extra love! I emailed admin and apologized for crying. One emailed me back and said Ms. Dallon I knew you were tough but I didn't know you were that tough. I didn't even notice this morning but now it makes sense why squatting to take a picture with your friend was so hard. I learned that admin does care and they want us to succeed even on the hard days when we can't walk. Everyday since one of the admin has asked how my foot is doing. That has meant the world to me because they are very busy ladies and yet she has the time to ask me and to care about my foot. 

I realize that day that we are not in the journey we call life alone we have people who care. People who notice and want to help you just have to get off your high horse and ask. I am so thankful that my Heavenly Father loves me enough to have suffered that pain for me and to give it to me so I can learn of his will and not my own. I am so thankful for the days that my foot hurts not because of the pain but because it reminds me of how much my Father in heaven loves me and knows me. He never once has let me down. He sent his son to suffer on the cross for me and for each and everyone of you. I know that he loves me and sometimes I doubt that and then I say Jill he is the one who will always love you even with the mistakes you make. I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father and all he does for me and my family. I am so thankful for all my pains and struggles because I have learned that it is okay to ask for help because we all need it sometimes! 

I am so thankful and blessed to know that the life is hard but with the gospel it is a lot easier knowing you don't have to face it alone. I am so thankful for all the wonderful people I have in my life the ones I trust and just the ones that I don't. I am thankful to be me and to live in this crazy time of COVID! Life is a Beautiful thing! 

I am off to my next adventure. Until next time Peace Out Cub scout. Work hard, Play harder, RUN YOUR HEART OUT! Never lose sight of the end goal. Keep the Faith! Peace and Love! Over and Out!

Be Prepared for the Unexpected

 Hello Fam! 

What a crazy week it has been! I have never really fully understood the 72 hour kit and being prepared. I mean being prepared yes I get but this was a week that changed my whole way of looking at it. 

I had the experience where I had to pack up my life just the essentials of what I was going to need for a week to survive and to get out. Including food, clothes, bathroom belongings, everything needed to be alive. When it happens it is an adrenaline rush like you have never felt the feelings of the unknown the worry of when can I go back. Where am I going to go? What am I going to do? Well let me tell you. It is okay to be scared and nervous but there is NO REASON TO NOT BE PREPARED! I learned that the hard way. I have never been afraid of COVID. I always joked about getting it but when my roommate got it and that meant I might have to quarantine. My world turned upside down.The fear of having nowhere to go the fear of not being able to go back to my house, the fear of leaving my students for 2 weeks. My mind was going so many miles an hour I would have never guessed that I would panic. (I am a panicier so why I thought I would be calm is beyond me.) 

I talked to my boss and she said get out don't go home get out! I went and packed my bags and the car with everything I could think of that I would need and little did I know that I would need more.  I am able to run to my house and grab a few things as long as I am quick. My roommate also leaves it on the porch for me. 

My nurse roommate who doesn't have it is cleaning non stop to make sure it is safe for us to be there. I can't go home because I don't have a place to shower or go to the bathroom. Because the COVID people said that the COVID positive person needs their own bathroom. I ran to the house to get some food last night and it was so gloomy, it was a ghost town. It doesn't look lived in, if you looked super close you could see tumbleweed just tumbling by. 

I talked to my roommate yesterday and we decided in two weeks when we get to come back together and live again that it will be the best day ever. The Eagle will hide, the tree will be up and all the other decorations too. 

I know that Heavenly Father knows what he is doing and he is just preparing us for what is to come. I know that being prepared is a necessity and I will always be ready now. I am so thankful for the love and knowledge that I have of the gospel because without it this week, I would have been so lost and alone with no one on my side. I had my Father in heaven on my side on the dark lonely nights he was the one there protecting me from the demons of the world. He was the one who was listening to my struggles the nights I couldn't sleep. I know that I am loved and thatI am safe. I think of the conference talk that said.."I don't feel safe, but I know I am safe!"

The world we live in is crazy and fast. Sometimes we just need to stop and take a deep breath and remember it may be the new normal but it is possible to live in.

Moral of this post is to be prepared, expect the unexpected and don't lose sight of the end goal. Have a go bag ready to go with everything you will need for a week even if it seems silly you will be glad you did.

I am off to my next adventure. Until next time Peace Out Cub scout. Work hard, Play harder, RUN YOUR HEART OUT! Never lose sight of the end goal. Keep the Faith! Peace and Love! Over and Out!

Find the Simple Things!

Hey Blogger Fam! 

It is me again and I am sure you are thinking what are you going to complain about today. Well, I want to take a different approach. Today I want to tell you some things that I am grateful for and so blessed to have in my life. I know right now this world is hard to live in and hard to survive and sometimes it seems that it is easier to be dead than alive. I want to be the first to tell you that you are loved. You are cared about and you matter to someone and that someone is me! YOU MATTER TO ME! I am so grateful to have you in my life even if it was just for a short while.

I am so grateful for the horrible roommate I had a year ago because it has taught me that not everyone is like that. It has helped me find some amazing roommates who have become my best friends! They celebrated my birthday for a week with me. They let me feel like I mattered and I was worth it. They even had birthday surprises for me. They decorated the house while I was running a half marathon! Even the neighbors wished me a happy birthday.

Here is another reason I am grateful for my roommates: we work different schedules, I am a teacher, one roommate is a nurse, and one works on a computer. My nurse roommate went out of her way when I forgot something to bring it to me at work so I could feel better about the way I looked. She didn't question it or even think twice about it. She almost got caught in the carpool line but she was more than willing to help me out! 

I am grateful for the people I work with the ones that I have become friends with and the ones that I have become enemies with. I am so sad to see how this year has gone from the friendships that were made last year to now how they are like non-existent because of social distancing. I know we can still call and text but it hurts my heart to see how close we were to not being nearly that close. I love the support team I have because I know that I have at least 4 people in my corner.

I am grateful for nature and the natural beauty and the silence of it all. I love to go and just listen to the birds chirp and the wind blow. The peace that fills the soul is so real. I am thankful for the mountains! 

I am grateful for my ability to run and I am so thankful for the foot doctor who has made it possible for me to run again. I am glad he took the time to figure out what was really wrong with it and not just say or it is this and you will have to take medicine forever. 

I am thankful for the simple things because it is the simple things that mean the most in life. Even a simple note to say hi or even a fresh baked loaf of bread. Just the simple things are the things that mean the most. I am so grateful for the people who do little things for me not because they have to but because they want to, they do it because they know that I am about to burst and can't handle it anymore.

I am so grateful for my family, my parents and my brother. I am thankful for them for many reasons. They put up with me even when I am not very nice. My dad fixes my car when it is having problems and he always says it is just a part of life. My mom goes to the fabric store with me and helps me pick out fabric for quilts I am making and even pillow cases. We get kits to work on together okay so mainly me but I wouldn't change it for the world. Josh is my best friend. He comes and helps me hang pictures. He takes my chair back when it is the wrong one to get the right one and then he puts it together for me. I have the best family in the world.

I am thankful for many things. I am done with the negative. I am working on letting go. I am going to work on the positives on my blog from now on. I don't want the world to see the sadden girl who is living in darkness. I want the world to see the girl that I am the one with a smile even when running a half marathon. I want the world to see me as a person who loves others. I want the world to know this life is hard but together we will make it through.

I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us and sometimes it is a hard pill to swallow but it is all in his timing. I am so grateful for the plan he has for me even though it is different than my own. 

I am truly blessed to live the life I live and have the wonderful family that I have. I love family. They are the people who remind me that it is okay to be different and to be me. I have some amazing parents and an amazing brother! 

I am off to my next adventure. Until next time Peace Out Cub scout. Work hard, Play harder, RUN YOUR HEART OUT! Never lose sight of the end goal. Keep the Faith! Peace and Love! Over and Out!

Sometimes Life is Rough

Sometimes in life we do things that we want because it seems easy and it will get us out of school the fastest, when in all reality the only person we are hurting is ourselves. I can't pass the silly teacher test. I am going to take it one more time and give it everything I have and then if I don't pass, I will study for a different test and follow my childhood dreams. I will get my law degree and then I will become very successful and then you will see. You will see! You doubted me many times and you know what I am done with the doubters and the haters. Life is hard and right it is hard to do a lot of things. You have to teach with a mask on and hope and pray your glasses don't fog up but then they do so you don't breathe and then all of the sudden you gasp for air. 

COVID has taken over the world. This has been around for a long time. Why is it a big deal now? If I am going to get it I am going to get it. It doesn't matter if I am meant to die and it is my time to go, then it is my time to go. Covid took us out of school for 6 months and all the progress we made with our kiddos went down the drain because some of the parents didn't even care to help their student with work. I get it was hard, it was hard for teachers too. Teachers did everything they could to help them succeed. Some made house calls and others sent mail. I know that right now you are afraid of the world but sometimes you just have to remember it is in the lord's hands and not yours. Never lose sight of the end goal. Everything happens for a reason and right now we need this struggle to help us remember how good life used to be and how good it can be again. I know wearing a face mask is hard. I wear one everyday, usually two. I know that this too shall pass. Just remember patiences is a virtue and we are learning it together. Never give up on your dream, reach them, they are never out of reach. Even if it is taking the silly test 20 times! NEVER GIVE UP! KEEP THE FAITH!
Until next time I am off to my next adventure! Keep the Faith! Work hard, Play harder, RUN your HEART OUT! Peace out cub scout! Over and Out! 

Florida be KIND to my PEOPLE!

 Hello Blogger Fam! 

Life is a crazy thing. The world which we live in is a weird thing. Take me back to February when life was normal or what we like to call normal. The normal we used to know. We had a family dinner that I didn't want to come or did I ever think would come. My cousin is moving because her husband who is history smart is going to school for his Phd. She has a cute little boy name Hamilton. I never thought they would move away. Kirstie has always been one of my best friends and more so since 2008 when Grandma B passed away. She always took me in she made me feel like I mattered. I always wanted to be like her. She was the one that I looked up to and was like I am going to be as amazing as her one day. The day we heard they were moving was that day my heart broke. We all knew it was coming but we all secretly hoped it wouldn't.

On July 23rd, I went over to Grandma Yomer's to have Austin help me with my timeline because he is history smart and I just looked at those 25 pictures for 9 months praying they would just put themselves in order well clearly we all knew that would not happen but I was very hopeful didn't happen so therefore I had to ask for help and I am not one to ask for help because that is a sign of weakness I have always been taught that. I asked Kirstie and she asked Austin and he put them in order in less than 3 minutes and I was just amazed! 

I asked Kirstie before he put my timeline together if they could come to dinner and she said we are moving soon I said I know. My mom wants to have a family dinner before you leave. Everyone came except Uncle Gary who had prior engagements to attend. It was so fun to have one more family dinner before they move. I never knew how much I loved them. I invited myself over to Florida in February I didn't give them a choice I asked if they accept visitors and she said yes always. 

I watched them drive away and my heart hurt. Not because they were leaving but because I knew it would be a long time before I get to see them again. I will miss the random coke runs and the black Friday working. Kirstie and I are the only girls in the mix of the boys. I am going to miss them as they go start their new adventure! Good Luck in Florida my friends. You will be missed but you are always loved and have a place in Brigham! Never forget where you come from and don't ever turn your back on the one who loves you the most! Keep your chin up and Keep the Faith! 

Off to my next adventure. Peace Out Cub Scout. See you soon to some amazing people! Work hard, play harder and RUN YOUR HEART OUT! Keep the Faith! Over and out!   

My APA Journey

Hello Blogger World,

What a crazy 10 months it has been. If you asked me 10 months ago where I would be today it wouldn't be where I am. I would have told you heck to the no! I hated my job and what I was doing with my life. I was angry at the world. I was angry at myself because I had gotten so low that nothing would help me get back up. Then I finally got a job and started it the next day. I had a friend tell me that the school I was going to work for was a terrible place, therefore that is where my mindset was. I counted the fast Sundays because it makes life easier to count. I will never forget the first day of school. I sobbed at my desk, holding my head saying Jill Anne you made a mistake. I didn't just start teaching that day I moved that day too. My instructor's husband came in and was like how are you and I just cried and he said I am so sorry. 

The first day I am not going to lie to you was so HARD! Did I want to quit? HECK TO THE YES! I was ready to run and I mean run on my two feet I was going to run to Rhode Island. For those of you who don't know Rhode Island is a 37 hour drive so just imagine how long it would be to run it would be 748 hours to run without stopping or WPA stops. (water, pee and air)

Looking back on the school year and to now would I change my life. No I have loved my journey, it has been hard for sure, hasn't been a cake walk! It has been an uphill marathon. I mean straight up hill. The journey got easier in January and that was when my mindset changed. Why? Because I looked at the world in a different way. I tried to find the positives everyday and not the negatives. I was finding the negatives in everything I did. I was the most negative Nancy you have ever met. I woke up one morning and said Jill you are done and no one wants to be around you because you are bringing everyone down. But once I started to find the positives life got better I made a few friends. I made some amazing friends that I hope to be friends with for a long time! LIfe is more fun with friends and easier because you can share the workload. 

When you start to find the positives in life you start to get the adventure of a lifetime. The way you see the world changes and the happier you are. Look for the positives even when life gives you lemons, there is still a positive to be found. 

Working for APA has changed my life for the better! It may have been the worst thing of my life for the longest time but now it is truly a blessing in my life. There is a quote that I think about when I think about my life in APA. Sometimes your biggest struggle is your greatest strength. Something like that. Working for APA isn't for the weak! Yes, there are things I don't like of course because everywhere you go there is. I am so blessed to be a part of the APA family, I have met some amazing people and made some amazing friends. 

I am off to my next adventure until next time! Peace Out Cub Scout! Work hard, play harder, Run your hardest! Don't lose sight of the end goal. Keep the Faith! 

I Will Protect You...

Hello Blogger World,

Today I come to you with a heart full of gratitude to one kind sir. For the last day of school we had a no missing work party for the students who didn't have any missing work from online school. Their reward for no missing work was throwing water balloons at the teachers they could bring their own or earn up to three. Ms. Mad Hatter and I filled up 840 water balloons for this. We had a blast filling them up. As teachers we lined up waiting for students to come and throw them from their cars. I walk up and down the line of people because we all know I can't be in one spot for a long time. I was standing by Ms. Mad Hatter and Mr. Kind Sir because they are my favorite people, I love them! I went and got some balloons so we could have a secret stash of water balloons to throw at admin or each other. As we were getting balloons thrown at us Mr. Kind Sir said Ms. Dallon is that Harvey (name changed)  and I didn't even register he was talking to me yet again he said the same thing, Ms. Dallon is that Harvey, all of the sudden it was Jill is the Harvey. I said where and he said right there. I was shocked it was Harvey. I gulped and was like yes yes it is. Mr. Kind Sir didn't even think twice he said I will protect you! Stand behind me I will protect you. He stood in front of me and said, I won't let them hurt you, stay behind me I will protect you. Standing behind him was the safest I have felt in a long time. He took a pounding of water balloons for me that day.I know that sounds so silly to you but no one has ever done that for me before. I saw a different side of that man that day. It was the protective side he was going to keep me safe no matter what. He wasn't going to let anything hurt me as he did many times before. He listened the day I told him that I was afraid of that parent he didn't even think twice about protecting me from this student and the parent. I told Mr. Kind Sir one day about this student and the parent and how I was afraid and I am not afraid of many people but this man I am afraid. I will always remember the kindness of Mr. Kind Sir. He is an amazing person and I am so lucky to have him as friend. I am so thankful for the love and kindness he showed me that day. There are still good people in this world. Mr. Kind Sir thank you for all you do for me and thank you for protecting me from the water balloons from Harvey and the parent. You are incredible! 

I am off to my next adventure! Peace out cub scout. Until next time, Work hard, play harder, Run the hardest. Follow your heart! Never lose sight of the end goal! Keep the Faith! 

Bryce Canyon Adventures

Hello Blogger Fam! 

I am coming today to tell you about my weekend adventures! I was able to go to Bryce Canyon with my friend and her family. It was an adventure! It was so much fun to get away and do some soul searching. Did I get any answers to my problems or questions yes and no. I want to start by telling you about the sunset. We went into the National Park and went to Sunset Point. It was beautiful there, the clouds were black and the sun shined through and it was incredible! It was so peaceful and the quietness you felt was so real. Fast forward to the next day, we wake up and go on a nice little run. Then we showered, got ready, went to breakfast and found out when we were going horseback riding. Yes I am terrified of animals. We got to the horse back ride. I get the horse Benny. I didn't have a melt down getting on the horse. I specifically told the guide I was afraid and he said you got the best horse you will be fine. I was fine until it started moving and then the tears came and the meltdown came. The guide stopped and said what is your name. I'm crying at this point and can barely get Jill out. Okay Jill it's okay let it out. Do you need some water or a treat? Everyone is nervous, the other guide comes up to me and says she is terrified of animals. Frank the guide said oh this makes sense he walks me over to the group and continues to try to distract me. Kieffer is a bull rider he won't let anything happen to you, in my head I am like what does that have to do with anything. Therefore, I was the leader of the pack right behind Kieffer, he sat sideways to keep my mind off of being scared. He asked about my life, things I like to do, and what I did for work. He was a very nice kind teenie bopper. He never laughed; he said everything would be fine and it was. My horse only got out of line one and yes I freaked out. I lived to tell about it! The little 3rd grader behind me in the group was very upset he couldn't be the leader. Horseback riding was fun. It was a blast once I got over the fear. I didn't panic until it started to move and the meltdown was one 2 minutes that is a record mark it down in the books. 

After the horseback ride we went and had lunch and ice cream. We then went hiking and in the middle of the hike it started to rain as it does in Utah it was a 10 minute storm. It made the trail so slippery and we made it back up to the top and were covered in dirt, mud and sand. We then went back to the hotel and had dinner and then got cleaned up. 

It was a great adventure! It was so great to go soul searching and to see some amazing things. It was worth the drive and amazing to see Bryce Canyon! 

I am off to my next adventure! Peace out cub scout. Until next time, Work hard, play harder, Run the hardest. Follow your heart! Never lose sight of the end goal! Keep the Faith! 

Teaching in a Crazy Time

Hello Blogger World,

What a crazy time we have come to live in? I first would like to start off on the teacher's point of view and then I will move to the normal Jill point of view. 

Teachers are getting a lot of crap from parents. I promise you it is just as hard for me as it is for you. I am doing my best to make the videos and making sure your student is getting what they need. I make mistakes yes and I do my best to fix them. Please know I am doing the best I can. I am giving it 1000% I am giving it everything I have, I am making house calls to help students succeed. I am working around the clock to answer emails and fix problems. I know that you are with your student all day and are their teacher now but I need you to enjoy this time because you are able to see how they are really doing first hand. You are able to see what they can do and the things that they are capable of. You have amazing students! I am lucky to be a teacher at this time even though people are so rude to teachers. Let me tell you something I am a teacher and right now it is hard but it is helping me become a better educator. These are challenging times and everyone is doing the best they can. Please remember that! Be kind! If you don't have anything nice to say please don't say it! 

Now, the Jill point of view. This is the worst!  This sucks! Eat Rocks and Die COVID 19! I hate not being able to leave my house. I have found who my true friends are. I have my friends who come to me and then I go to them. I even have some who send me cookies. I am so lucky to have my friends. When I started this year I wasn't sure about it. I started a new job, I didn't have any friends and I moved to a new place. It was a lot of first for me. I have never been so unsure about anything in my life and I have done some crazy things. This school year has had its ups and downs but would I change them. No way! I have met some amazing people! I have made some friends who I hope to be friends with for a really long time. I have friends who are there for me when life is hard or when I need someone to listen to me complain about the little things. I have met some great teachers and have learned so much! I have met a really nice Kind Sir that is super funny and knows how to make the hard situations easier. He always listens to the funny stories that I get from my littles. He goes with me to help my little friend with math. That Kind Sir is definitely a saint! 

Life is hard in these crazy times. I get that, I feel that. But it doesn't mean that you need to go and be mean to others just because you are having a hard time yourself. I am not a person who is good at staying inside. I am always on the go! During this crazy time I have studied for a test that thinks it owns me. It doesn't. I will own it on June 9th if the world lets me test! I am so thankful for the people who believe in me and even the people who don't because that gives me more motivation to show you what I am capable of. I know that this test is probably silly to you but 4 years going strong, it is what I need to do to get my teaching license. I am not a quitter my mom didn't raise a quitter. 

I am off to my next adventure until next time! Peace Out Cub Scout! Work hard, play harder, Run your hardest! Don't lose sight of the end goal. Keep the Faith! 

Quarantine made my Heart Cry

I got the email I didn't want to receive my heart cried because I knew it was coming but I prayed that it wouldn't come. It came and my heart cried and I put my head down on the counter and said "WHY ME, WHY ME!" Not once did I ever care about taking this test before but this time I was so ready! I was going to pass. I was going to show that test who was boss. But the Coronavirus decided to mess up my plans. I knew I was going to pass because I had a friend on my side who believed in me. He told me he knew I would pass. That gave me so much motivation to study hard and dream bigger. I have learned over these past four days that life is so hard when you don't have friends. I learned that when you can text your friends no matter what time of day it is your days may be long but at least I know they care even if it is only for the 30 seconds it takes to send a text or to talk to me on the phone. I have learned that sometimes you have to trust your heart and not fight with it. 

Today was the first day in this whole mess that I actually broke down because I was so lonely inside no one knows what goes on in my life. No one is there to hear the complaints of my heart. No one understands that my roommate doesn't talk to me. She pays her rent so I can't complain. I just need to see someone. I need adult conversation. I need to remember that I am not alone in all of this because all of my people are going through the same thing too. I was able to get caught up on my sewing and to do the things I love but this being stuck inside is not my favorite it is so hard for me! It is teaching me that sometimes life is hard but it is worth it. Sometimes all you need is a friend who believes in you!

Until next time I am off to my next adventure.  Peace out cub scout! Play hard, work harder, run your hardest! Never lose sight of the end goal. Keep the faith!

Christ Would Serve You

Today I want to talk about something that has been weighing on my mind. With all the craziness in the world I have been thinking about my mission. My mission wasn't the greatest thing in the world and I will tell you that straight up. I won't tell you it was the best thing of my life because it wasn't, but I know it wasn't the worst thing either. As I think back the thought that keeps coming to my mind is something Elder Morse said to me in February 2014, I do not remember why or the context but he said "Christ would serve you!" Those words pierced my heart that day. It was an answer to my prayers for 12 months. Those words changed me! They made me a better missionary, a better person and helped me find the pure love of Christ. Sometimes the pure love of Christ leaves us and then once it comes back it fills that emptiness feeling in your heart. That phrase as replayed in my mind a lot this past week. It replays over and over. It reminds me that I need to let others serve me and to remember that Christ is serving me. That elder didn't know how those words impacted my life. I am so grateful for that elder. I am grateful that he was brave enough to stand up to me when I was in the wrong and to give me a kind talking to when I needed it.

I think of the world about all that is going on and how a lot of people are freaking out I honestly just am numb to the pain and the emotion of it all. I have learned how to numb the pain of lots of things over that past 7 months because when you are alone you are the only one who understands and you are the only one who can fix your problems. The world is running slim the world is having a crisis but I know with out a shout of a doubt it is in the lord's hands and it is his doing. He knows what he is doing trust him. Don't walk away because life is hard, stay close because sometimes he is all you have. I have learned that the lord knows what he is doing, I know that whatever happens will happen but I am not going to be scared anymore and I am not going to worry because it is in the lords hands and not mine. I am so thankful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints because it helps me know that everything no matter what way it should be and that know matter what I will always have a family that loves me and cares about me. I know I know the church is true even when times get hard and when I don't know what to do. I know that the lord will bless us and he loves us each and everyone of us. I know that sometimes we think he has left us but he never has. The POWER OF PRAYER IS REAL! Don't ever forget where you have been but always remember where you are going. Don't be afraid of what is coming. Keep the faith! The church is true and it always has been and always will be. "When life gets to hard to stand kneel." Life is going to knock you down but when it does go to Heaven Mart. Just remember it is on his timing not yours.

Keep the Faith!  

Please Help me Understand

Hello Blogger World,

I am frustrated and angry because I have failed one of my little friends. My little friend got suspended this week. I don't think it was fair she doesn't talk she talks to me and to one other teacher. She just got moved from her reading group to a new one. Which is totally fine but it really doesn't help her academically. It has made her shut down and all the progress we have made with her is going down the drain. She got suspended this week just because she didn't talk or explain herself. I failed this sweet girl. I wasn't there to help her and listen. As her reading teacher was yelling at her and I was just like I don't know. It was just a miss understanding. I talked to Mr. Kind Sir about it and he was like Ms. Dallon I don't understand this is so stupid! I was like you are telling me and she was going to get an award at the assembly that she missed because of suspension. I love this little girl I don't understand why it got to that point because if it would have been anyone else they would of just sent them back to me saying oh its fine we talked about it. I am sorry but please note I had a student steal and break my pens and all he got was a slap on the wrist and now when my little friend takes someone squishy by a misunderstanding and she gets suspended?! What the heck?! I talked to a case manager and she was more angry and frustrated then Mr. Kind Sir and I. I don't understand and I mean I know it is done and over with but I still don't have to like it. 

Thank you for listening to my rant. I am off to another adventure! Work hard, Play harder, Run your heart out! Keep the faith! Peace out cub scout! Over and out until next time! 

Adventures in the Teacher World

Today was a roller coaster I can't even begin to tell you. I am frustrated about how something was handled that is out of my control. I wish things would have turned out differently. I failed my sweet friend. I didn't defend her as I should have. The corornavirus has put a wrench in my life. I love my job and for once I was finally happy and then now something like this has to happen. Church is cancelled do people not understand that that is the only time I have people time because my roommate doesn't talk to me and I don't matter to here. I don't feel safe where I am living. I feel like I have to watch my back everywhere I go.  I have called the cops twice since I have moved in here. I love the town I live it is beautiful but just the safety factor isn't my favorite. My roommate doesn't even know I exist I mean I guess that is fine. I have learned over the past 7 months that being alone sucks and I need to find an eternal companion. I hate being alone and now I have so much alone time, time to think, time to just be me.

I want to tell you about an experience I had today. It was just another normal day. Nothing super different. I didn't talk to Mrs. Great yesterday or even see her! So today I was determined to talk to her and I did just so. I complained to her about things bothering me she listened and then she said a few things that helped me know that I matter. I love this kind lady! She is amazing! Then, I chatted with her later in the day. I am so thankful for this kind lady because she has shown me that there are still good people in this world. She has an incredible child. She has taught me that it is okay to not be okay because she is always there to help me even when I am like I can't even think straight. I can't even move she is like what can I do for you? She is one person who can read people and she knows when you just need a hug and says hey it's okay it is going to be a great day! Everyday I see her it is a great day! I am so lucky to be able to work with her.

I also had another teacher write on my bored today it said. You are so amazing! What she doesn't know is that is what I needed today. This teacher said Ms. Dallon why are you so full of energy right now I think it was mainly because I was confused of a situation I was just in and that I was like I can look for the positive or show them that I was really breaking inside. I didn't want people to know. It is always the high energy before you hit the lowest of lows. I was making copies and when I came back to my room I found this note on my board. It made my heart cry of great joy. The tears streamed down my cheeks. They were the tears of knowing that my Heavenly Father is aware of me. He knows how I am feeling and he has felt it to. It was an answer to a silent prayer. It was a tender mercy. That teacher will never know how much those kind words met to me. We have not always seen eye to eye but the love I have felt for this sweet teacher is a love that has made me come out of my comfort zone. It has helped me find the Jill that has been lost for awhile. All I can say I have felt anger toward this sweet teacher, I have felt like she doesn't care but that was not the case. I never knew what was going on in her life and just because her challenges and struggles are different than mine. I judged her incorrectly and for that I am truly sorry. I have said terrible things about this teacher but she is truly amazing. I am so thankful to work with her!

I am off to my next adventure. Work hard, Play harder, Run with everything you have! Life is hard sometimes but it is worth it just keep going don't lose sight of the end goal. Someone is always there cheering you on. That someone is me! I am your biggest cheerleader. I will be there on the side lines always. You are awesome remember that! Keep the Faith! Peace Out Cub Scout! Over and Out!

You Matter to Someone

Hello Blogger Fam!

Well what a crazy month we have had! I went to Spokane, Washington and Canada for a mid winter break from work. I even got to go to the Spokane Temple and that was so fun! I went to visit a family friend! It was so great to get away for a while and to not have to worry about anything. I studied for the praxis and just adventured everyday!
Work has been so great I am so thankful for my job and I love it with everything I have but today I have just felt so defeated. I don’t matter in these halls. I am just another body who is warming the building. I am just another person they have to keep track of. Today was the day that I was like Jill it doesn’t matter if we come back tomorrow because not one person would notice. I then thought about that thought and said Mrs. Great would notice because she goes out of her way everyday to say Good Morning to me every morning and that is what gets me through the day because I know that I matter to her.
I have learned that there are still good people in this world, there are few and far in between but there is still good people in this world. I have learned that sometimes life is hard and that is when you need a little extra help and when people ask me what I need I don’t know what to tell them besides find me a date because that is about the only thing I can think of.
Life is crazy! Hold on and ENJOY the ride! Sometimes it is crazy but it is worth it in the end! I am so grateful for the life I have and I am able to live and the job I have. I love teaching and seeing the smiles of all my students! They are teaching me so much! I am so lucky to be a teacher!
I am off to my next adventure! Until next time! Peace out Cub Scout and Peace and Love! Work hard, play harder and run as hard as you can! Never lose sight of the end goal! Keep the faith!

My 14 Day Walk with Christ

Hello Blogger World,

I want to share with you my experience of my 14 day Walk with Christ. Some of you are probably like oh just another rant of Jill but this time not so much. I saw this sitting on my parents dryer and something said, "Jill you want happiness do you trust me." My thought yes I trust you. I then took them to Herriman with me and started my journey. Was is hard at times yes. I knew that this would help me find happiness after being so low for so long and no one even knowing. Day 1 I did and was like okay I got this. Day 2 I felt more of my saviors love. Day 3 came and went day 4 was rough because it was no music and tv which was great because I was able to listen to the prompting more closely. I learned to pray with everything I had and to trust my father in heaven. 

Through out those 14 days I found happiness that filled a void that has been missing. I have felt the pure love of christ. I felt not so alone during those 14 days. I had felt love of the people I work with I have made a new friend. A friend who has let me be me and accepted me for me. They didn't judge me for where I have been and they are helping me get to where I want to be. The 14 day walk with christ changed my life for the better and has made me a better person. I am so thankful for the opportunity I have had to do the 14 day wall with christ! 

Life is hard! Well I am off to my next adventure! Peace out cub scout! Work hard, play harder, run the hardest! Never lose sight of the end goal. Keep the faith! Always remember you are loved!

The Moment I Finally Feel Like I Belong, I was Mistaken

The moment that you feel like you belong is the moment you should run away and hide because it is just going to be a slap in the face for you. I can find the two face people but yet I can't even find one genuine person. Once you find that genuine person the two face people have to go and ruin it for you. I sometimes wish that my mom didn't teach me how to be kind and love other because my life would be so much easier if I hated people. I have found two genuine people that I work with but now I don't even talk to them not because I don't want to but because someone has said something to ruin my relationship with them. I just wish they knew me better than that. But who am I kidding. I never belonged. I never once fit in and that is totally fine. For once I was starting to find happiness again in my life but then the joke is on me. I have learned yet again not to trust anyone or let anyone in because I am the one who gets hurt in the end.
Today at lunch I realized that I mattered to no one which is totally fine because I don't even matter
at my apartment. What people don't understand is that I need people interaction to live because when it is a 6 year old telling me everyday that she loves me even when I make her cry and tell her to suck it up because she is a big girl and she can do hard things. You know life is rough. That little friend might be my biggest struggle but they are definitely a tender mercy to me.
Today at lunch I learned that someone likes to play people against each other and I know that she played me against someone that I was supposed to be working with but I got an assignment change. I have learned that sometimes life is hard but the more you tough it out the easier it gets.
I am so thankful for my mom who taught me to love others and to love them even when they do me wrong. Someone is always going to be rude or bring us down we just have to know how to not let them know that they have broke us. Today I was broke at lunch and not a single soul even knew. Do I feel bad no because in all reality life is hard and you just got to let it roll off your back even though that is easier said than done.
I am so grateful to be who I am and to teach 1st grade even on the hardest days. I am so lucky to have the challenges I have because if I didn't I wouldn't be the person I am today and I wouldn't be able to become the person I need to be. I am so thankful for all of my life lessons and I am truly thankful for the genuine people out there.
I am off to another adventure. Keep the faith! Keep your chin up! Never lose sight of the end goal! Remember where you have been and all the things that you have accomplished to get where you are today! Play hard! Work harder, and RUN THE HARDEST! Run until you have nothing left! Peace Out Cub Scout! Over and Out!

Peace Out 2019 Hello 2020

It is the end of the year and I would like to tell you the highlights of the year and the not so great things because the not so great things are truly the greatest blessings that I have recieved this year.
First highlight my mom retired and is now able to do the things she loves cross stitch and spend time with my brother who is living at home for a little bit after some unfortunate events that have happened. Second, I was able to attend my best friends wedding and be a part of her line for the second time. Third, I was able to start teaching right after graduation. Lastly, I was able to run a half marathon one last time before I have to hang up my running shoes for good.

I would like to tell you about the not so great things because they have truly made me into the person that I need to become. First my brother lost his job back in March all because one person complained. We all make mistakes and do dumb things. He kept everyone safe but clearly this jerk could careless about others. Second, I was let go from my first teaching job because I don’t quite have my teaching license. Third, my foot is not working as it should and it hurts a lot of the time. Lastly, I have learned what it feels to be alone feels like and knowing that you don’t have anyone but the savior!

The greatest blessing of my mom being retired is that she can spend time with my brother. Why is my brother at home you are thinking? Because he had a to make a life or death call and he chose life and that was the end of his job, he has a new job and is having the time of his life. Another blessing that came out of my mom retiring was that she got a bell and a picture that said DON’T RING THE BELL! It says If  You Want To Change The World…. Start your day by making your bed, find someone to help you paddle and my favorite that is the motto of my life Don’t Back Down from the Sharks! That is my motto and as you continue reading you will find out why.

I started teaching second grade at a school I loved! My team was amazing! We worked together it was never I or me it was always we! We did things together. We all had our separate challenges. I loved teaching 2nd grade and being part of that school and community. I guess they had other plans for me! I don’t quite have my teaching license and therefore that is what lead me to a new job at a new school. Some days I want to die and pray to die and other days I love what I do. Teaching isn’t for the weak! It is a rough job!

My best friends wedding was so great to be at! It breaks my heart to know that she isn’t going to be with him for eternity. It breaks my heart to see the road she is going down. But I know that she will come about around. She married a better man this go around. I like him a lot he is so kind and loving and he treats her little girl with so much love and kindness. Life is hard and she has had a rough go, things are starting to turn around for her. I may not see her ever again but at least I know she is happy and woking on becoming the best her.

This December of 2019 I was able to run a half marathon in Laughlin Nevada and it was amazing! It was two states two time zones. I am so thankful for my ability to be able to run even though now it is coming to an end and not working in my favor. It is truly a blessing to see all the states I have been able to run in and the other countries!

I have learned many times what it is like to be alone but I have truly felt it over the past few months. I am living with a wonderful roommate she just isn’t social. I talk to 5 and 6 years all day sometimes I just need someone to talk to that is older than 6. I just need someone to care for once besides my family. I have learned that being alone is hard and I already knew that but the loneliness I have felt over these passed few months and taught me that I need to start dating and trusting people and letting people in because being alone isn’t fun. I have learned to find joy in the small and simple things. I have felt the love of my savior many times and but lately it has been lacking. It is so hard to go to an empty apartment even when she is home I am still alone. I am an outsider. I need people in my life. You may think I am strong and tough because that is how I was raised but sometimes deep down I am fighting the battle of do I even deserve to live because my roommate doesn’t want to talk to me or even be social with me. I shouldn’t let it get to me but it is starting to really put a damper on my life. I go to church and they say it only takes one person to be a friend but right now I don’t have a friend, I have a lot of fake people but I don’t need the fake people in my life.

Life is hard but I have had a great 2019 it gave me a run for my money and was full of adventures! You can read this and judge me. Judge me if you must but I am only human. Peace and Love 2019 here is to a WONDERFUL 2020! Keep the faith! Work Hard Play Harder, Run the hardest, run with everything you have! Never lose sight of the end goal. Peace Out Cub Scout! I am off to my next adventure! Over and Out!