It is okay to go visit…. But not to stay.

Hello Blogger Fam,

What a crazy month it has been and it still is going strong. You know the days when life is hard and you say tomorrow will be better? Well, this month has been one of those days for a month until someone was brave enough to call and say "This isn't the happy girl I know." The moment the person said that was the moment I cried for the last time for being in the deep dark hole that I couldn't get out of. The moment they said that was the moment I knew no one could pull me out by myself. I am a strong independent woman and I am the ruler of my life.  I knew that I had no one in my corner. I knew I was alone. I knew that my students didn't deserve the teacher they were having, they deserve the happy teacher who loves them. Not the one that has to force herself to love them because she can't love herself. That day I turned to my Heavenly Father in tears sobbing about my problems and how hard my life is and why I don't understand why it is happening to me. I don't understand why I am still single at 31, in the society in which we live, there is something wrong with me and you know what it's true. You know I got answers maybe not the ones I truly wanted or what I wanted to hear. But I am so thankful for the people in my life who are willing to have hard conversations with me because they love me and care about me and they are willing to listen. I have been so frustrated at the world, my job and just at life itself. Why because it just seems so unfair because my two best friends are getting married and I am just single. Why is everyone happy and not me well I can tell you the answer that I know it is because I am choosing to be upset at the world and once I get out of that my life will turn around and be what I want it to be. Someone once told me that you can go and visit that place of emotion but you can't stay there it is a dangerous road. I honestly can't remember who said that to me but it is true. I made up my mind yesterday that I was going to get out of this place. I am doing better I am still not 100% but I am getting there. I am so thankful for my life and for all the people I have in my life that truly care and love me. 

When life gets hard, drink a COKE! 😊

I am off to my next adventure. Until next time, Peace Out Cub Scout. Work hard, Play Harder, RUN YOUR HEART OUT!  Never lose sight of the end goal. Keep the Faith! Peace and Love! Over and Out!

Hello 2023

 Hello Blogger Fam! 

Can you believe it is 2023! Welcome to a new adventure! I wish I could say I have something profound to say for the new year but I don't. I do want to tell you about a new adventure I am going to embarc on. 

I have finally reached the age where I am too old for the YSA ward so they say you can go to a family ward or to the mid singles so I decided to try the mid singles because why not go and be the fresh meat on the market right. Well, I went yesterday... A boy walked in and I said in my head that is so and so. I know him. We went to high school together, we were in the same stake growing up. He wouldn't know me from Adam. But I knew someone was there it would make it easier for me to go. Does he know how grateful I am that he was there no, did I say hi no, I didn't want to interrupt his conversation with the other person. Did he recognize me? I don't know but at least I knew him and that helped me know that this mid singles ward wasn't scary and it is the place I need to be. 

I have been so scared to leave the YSA ward because it has become my family. I have never found a ward where I am truly loved for who I am. I am accepted even for my weirdness. I am so thankful for my time in the YSA ward and all the things I have learned and the friendships I have made. Sometimes the scariest thing to do is what we need to do the most.

I am off to a new adventure! Here is to 2023 may it be the best year yet! 

When life gets hard, drink a COKE! 😊

I am off to my next adventure. Until next time Peace Out Cub scout. Work hard, Play harder, RUN YOUR HEART OUT! Never lose sight of the end goal. Keep the Faith! Peace and Love! Over and Out!