It is the end of the year and I would like to tell you the highlights of the year and the not so great things because the not so great things are truly the greatest blessings that I have recieved this year.
First highlight my mom retired and is now able to do the things she loves cross stitch and spend time with my brother who is living at home for a little bit after some unfortunate events that have happened. Second, I was able to attend my best friends wedding and be a part of her line for the second time. Third, I was able to start teaching right after graduation. Lastly, I was able to run a half marathon one last time before I have to hang up my running shoes for good.
I would like to tell you about the not so great things because they have truly made me into the person that I need to become. First my brother lost his job back in March all because one person complained. We all make mistakes and do dumb things. He kept everyone safe but clearly this jerk could careless about others. Second, I was let go from my first teaching job because I don’t quite have my teaching license. Third, my foot is not working as it should and it hurts a lot of the time. Lastly, I have learned what it feels to be alone feels like and knowing that you don’t have anyone but the savior!
The greatest blessing of my mom being retired is that she can spend time with my brother. Why is my brother at home you are thinking? Because he had a to make a life or death call and he chose life and that was the end of his job, he has a new job and is having the time of his life. Another blessing that came out of my mom retiring was that she got a bell and a picture that said DON’T RING THE BELL! It says If You Want To Change The World…. Start your day by making your bed, find someone to help you paddle and my favorite that is the motto of my life Don’t Back Down from the Sharks! That is my motto and as you continue reading you will find out why.
I started teaching second grade at a school I loved! My team was amazing! We worked together it was never I or me it was always we! We did things together. We all had our separate challenges. I loved teaching 2nd grade and being part of that school and community. I guess they had other plans for me! I don’t quite have my teaching license and therefore that is what lead me to a new job at a new school. Some days I want to die and pray to die and other days I love what I do. Teaching isn’t for the weak! It is a rough job!
My best friends wedding was so great to be at! It breaks my heart to know that she isn’t going to be with him for eternity. It breaks my heart to see the road she is going down. But I know that she will come about around. She married a better man this go around. I like him a lot he is so kind and loving and he treats her little girl with so much love and kindness. Life is hard and she has had a rough go, things are starting to turn around for her. I may not see her ever again but at least I know she is happy and woking on becoming the best her.
This December of 2019 I was able to run a half marathon in Laughlin Nevada and it was amazing! It was two states two time zones. I am so thankful for my ability to be able to run even though now it is coming to an end and not working in my favor. It is truly a blessing to see all the states I have been able to run in and the other countries!
I have learned many times what it is like to be alone but I have truly felt it over the past few months. I am living with a wonderful roommate she just isn’t social. I talk to 5 and 6 years all day sometimes I just need someone to talk to that is older than 6. I just need someone to care for once besides my family. I have learned that being alone is hard and I already knew that but the loneliness I have felt over these passed few months and taught me that I need to start dating and trusting people and letting people in because being alone isn’t fun. I have learned to find joy in the small and simple things. I have felt the love of my savior many times and but lately it has been lacking. It is so hard to go to an empty apartment even when she is home I am still alone. I am an outsider. I need people in my life. You may think I am strong and tough because that is how I was raised but sometimes deep down I am fighting the battle of do I even deserve to live because my roommate doesn’t want to talk to me or even be social with me. I shouldn’t let it get to me but it is starting to really put a damper on my life. I go to church and they say it only takes one person to be a friend but right now I don’t have a friend, I have a lot of fake people but I don’t need the fake people in my life.
Life is hard but I have had a great 2019 it gave me a run for my money and was full of adventures! You can read this and judge me. Judge me if you must but I am only human. Peace and Love 2019 here is to a WONDERFUL 2020! Keep the faith! Work Hard Play Harder, Run the hardest, run with everything you have! Never lose sight of the end goal. Peace Out Cub Scout! I am off to my next adventure! Over and Out!
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