Growing Up!

Growing up is hard we all know that! We all face different battles. One I fight daily is being the friend that is only called when they are in trouble and need someone stable. I had plans for spring break with one of my best friends and then she bailed but I knew she would she always does. She is one of those people who says she'll do something but then she doesn't do it. I rearranged my schedule for her. I always knew I was low life soap scum. I always have been.

You are just a Momma's girl all you ever do it spend time with her which is fine but sometimes you need to spend time with other people. I understand family is important but so are other people. I know that I will never matter to you and that is fine with me.

You assume I am not going to go to institute you don't know me you don't know the desires of my heart. I know you will never read my blog because you won't have time like you informed me today at school that you didn't have time for me. Thanks when I really needed you, you weren't there but when you need me I will always be there.

You hurt my feelings yesterday. What you didn't know was the battle I was fighting. I just failed a test and then it proceeded to be that way the rest of the day. That is okay though. You win some and lose some. I just learn differently than you. I learn by being hands on.

Glitter in the Mail!

Rough days come and go. Some are harder than others. You pray all day for someone to care and to just know that you are struggling and then your answer comes in the most simplest of ways through a letter full of glitter. It is the simple things that mean the most. 

Not that life is hard but it is at times. Not that it was a bad day it was just a day that wasn't as smooth as normal and people said dumb things. My best friend said I didn't think you were coming. What she didn't know what how my morning went. The train was late it's okay I studied and prepared for a test, I took my test felt really good got my score. It's okay you win some and lose some. It doesn't mean I am not smart it means I am human and I struggle. 

Yesterday was just my day to struggle it's okay. What no one knows is that I cried in my room for hours because I know I will never be good enough. My best friend she always asks what I get on the test to make herself feel better I wish she wouldn't have to be little me to feel good about herself. If that's what you need that's fine but I can only do so much to bring you up before I have to let you go. It's me your right I am dumb but I do my best and if it isn't good enough for you then I am done with you.

We used to have the same goals but now we don't and that's totally fine! I know we grow up and move on but its so hard to go to school and no that you are just another person no one will ever notice. Just another wall flower. I am going to get a degree and become the person I know I can be.

I am off to another adventure who knows what it will be but it will be an adventure that is for sure. Riding Solo. Living the dream! Keep the Faith! Peace Out Cub Scout.