The praxis

The praxis is like running a marathon. It's hard and it hurts when you fail. You trip and fall what do you do you get up brush off and say shoot I got to make up time and you go again. I brushed myself off and back got back up! Please stop telling me to quit trying because I won't. I am a FIGHTER!! My mom didn't raise quitters. I was last in every race until senior year. Did I quit no could I have oh yes but I kept going I kept running. I was in the middle of the pack my senior year and that was amazing to see how far I had come. It was all about the race between me and the clock!
The praxis is all a game. You win some you lose some. The praxis is a dumb standardized test but you always got to jump through the hoops. Never lose sight of the end goal! Keep the faith!
Nothing is impossible! It's only impossible if you quit!

Fear is Real!

The moment the mouse looked into my soul. I was so scared and not once did my best friend ever laugh at me, not once. Today I saw a mouse and I am truly blessed because my heavenly Father knows I am terrified of animals and he puts blinders on my eyes and ear plugs in my ears. But tonight I saw a mouse it was white with brown spots it looked right into my soul. It made eye contact with me and I started to cry I was all alone. My friend from a distance asked if I was okay and then the whole group laughed at me. You don't need to mock me because my fears are different than yours. I am human I have fears some are silly to you but a big deal to me. I remember once on my mission when I was truly blinded from the animals until we were leaving. We were cleaning this reptile house it was a members house. Let me back up a week prior the other sisters asked if we could help I asked if there would be animals oh no there won't be sister Dallon. I knew there would be. I prayed and prayed not to be scared the day comes and I am like I am confident it will be fine but no the tears come and my companion shakes me and says Sister Dallon get it together. I do my best after 15 minutes I say heavenly father I am here to serve please help me. He put a binder on my eyes I didn't see the snakes, or the mice until we were leaving.  Today as I saw this mouse it scared me so bad I'll I could do was cry and hope someone was braver than me to help me pass it. Someone came after everyone laughed at me. Today some boy came to my rescue I couldn't say anything with the tears but thanks. He said are you okay the tears fell harder. Then I realized how much my best friend my no longer best friend means to me. My heart was crying of embarrassment because the group who I thought were my friends were not. I thanked my one friend again today. He always responds and says you're welcome I get it. He never judged me. Why can't there be more people like him in this world who understand fears.
My fear of animals is real. It may be silly to you but it is so real to me I sometimes can't breathe as I am crying. It is hard but with my heavenly father I can make it through anything. Keep the faith! Work hard play hard run with all you have. Peace out cub scout. Until my next adventure. Peace and love!

The Day my Life Changed

For once in my life everything was going great. I then learned that there is bumps in the road and yes they are hard some are easier than others. I have seen how ever since I got released in March I have lost my best friend and the boy that I really like. I really liked this boy I loved the way he made me feel. He taught me how to be happy and to find the positives in life. He helped me become the person I needed to be. I learned how to love others and to see them for who they truly are. I learned that even though I am no longer with that boy and now he doesn't even speak to me. I am and never was good enough. I learned to trust and yet again I was the one who was crushed and torn apart. I learned on my mission to not trust others but with him, I knew from the moment I met him I could trust him. I let him in and I let my guard down and my walls. I really liked him so much. He was the most amazing person I have ever met. He truly changed my life. I just can't believe that one date changed it all. He was my number one. He was my best friend. I have lost him. I just wish that it could of happened differently or it wouldn't of happened at all. I was so happy when I had him in my life. I don't need a boy in my life to be happy. He was there for me when I failed my test he was there the first time, the second, third, fourth and fifth and every time since. He told me once how sorry he was as I was crying he said "You listen to me and I listen to you Jill we are a team we do things together." That was the day I knew that he was different and that no matter what I would always have him. I never thought I would lose him. The day I knew that I lost him was the day he stopped texting me and talking to me. I wish it would of happened after Peru because when I was in Peru was when I needed him the most. He was truly my best friend but April 1, 2017 everything changed. He was no longer my friend and he doesn't talk to me and I wish he just knew how bad he was truly hurting me. I loved that boy so much.Every since the day he left my life I haven't found the happiness I had while I had him in my life. He snaps me once a day to keep our streak alive. I just wish I could talk to him to let him know how I really feel. He is the most amazing person in the whole world and only deserved the best. I hope that he fines the most amazing girl in the world because that is what he truly deserves. It may not be me but that's okay. Yes it hurts but it only makes me stronger. You can only run away for so long until you have to face reality. Never give up on your dreams. Never give up even if you aren't good enough for the boy you like. Keep your chin up and move on. You are amazing and will always be good enough! Keep the faith!
Until next time! Peace out Cub scout!

Summer nightmare

This summer has been the biggest nightmare of my life. I have worked three jobs. I have one that I truly love. I work at chick fila and it's pretty legit. I wish I would of just went back to the bakery. The boy I like hates me and I can't go to church because the feeling there is terrible. I guess it is time for me to walk away for good. I wish things would of turned out differently. He was truly the most amazing young man I know. He was one I trusted he accepted me for me not once did he judge me. It never mattered to him where I came from or where I'd been. He always treated me like a princess. Then something change and that was the day my life changed. Life is hard sometimes you just have to grab it by the horns and roll with it. My life hasn't gone as I had planned. My life plan has had many bumps in the road. Here is how I wanted my life to be. I wanted to graduate high school go to college and get married and have a family. How my life has gone. I graduated my mom got terribly sick, I went to Dixie, then I went on a mission, now I have been home three years not married no college degree. Yup my life is a train wreck. Would I change it no. I have done some amazing things even though it hasn't gone as planned. I went to Peru met some great people my life has truly been changed for the better. I learned that nothing is impossible. Even on the hardest days. I am not here to complain about how hard my life is I am just here to tell you. Nothing is as it seems. Everyone fights different battles. My scars are different than yours. I wouldn't change whom I am for anything in the world. I have seen things and done things I never thought imaginable.
Keep the faith! Keep your chin up! Work hard, play hard, run harder. Never lose sight of the end goal. Until next time. Over and out! Peace out cub scout!

Two Weeks Changed my Life

The last two weeks have truly changed my life. I have learned so many things. I have seen how hard it is to not understand the language. The journey has been so hard but it has been totally worth it. I noticed today as I looked for the positive that everything works out better. I learned that I want to be a better person. I am going to be more positive. I have been with a negative Nancy for the past two weeks and I have come to see how you can only handle so much. People don't deserve that. You can be unhappy but you can choose to be happy. It is a choice. I have seen how negativity affects everyone not just you. I am so thankful for all the adventures I have had. My life has truly been changed for the best. I have seen how hard struggles can help mold you into the person you were meant to be. I have come to see that things that I never thought were possible were.
I wouldn't be where I am today with out my Wonderful​ parents. They taught me to live my life and follow my heart and I have done just that. I am so thankful that they let me go to Peru. I know it wasn't the easiest especially with all the Drs visits that I had to get here.
This experience has truly changed me! Life is hard but it is worth it in the end. I am finally understanding why my life is turning out different than I planned. Life is a rollercoaster. Hand on tight and go for the ride​, it's worth it.
Keep the faith! Off to bed! Living the dream and keeping the Faith. Until next time! Peace out cub scout!

The Day they Left Me to Fly

I remember a day when they left me at a place I never thought possible. I cried for weeks because I knew I wouldn't see them for a long time! They hugged me and said return with honor and I did just that. They left me a week ago at the airport in the security line and said we'll see you soon. I didn't comprehend the adventures I was going on. It didn't seem real I got to Peru and that still seemed so surreal. As I sat alone for a day that was when I knew I was on my own and no one cared. I knew my parents did. I knew they did because they left me at the airport to embark on my Peru Adventure. I love that they let me go to Peru to see the schools here. I loved to see the students there they were so loving. I don't speak the language but it is amazing to see how they love to have visitors.
I am so thankful that my parents let me go. They got me all set to go. They helped me pack. They got me all ready. When they left the security line. I knew that for once in my life that nothing is impossible. I am so thankful that they let me spread my wings to fly and are willing to pick up the pieces when I fall.
I am off to bed! Keep the faith! Never lose sight of the end goal. Work hard play hard run runner. Peace out Cub scout!

Double Life

My double life. I once had someone tell me I have a double life you know what I do. You can take the girl from Brigham City but you can't take the City from the girl. I have two lives one up there and one in Utah County. I walked away from my Brigham life in 2016 I go back because it is a comfort place. It helps me know that I am a person and I can be who I need to be. My life has changed being in Utah County it has made me a better person and a stronger one. I have seen how one choice can make the world of difference and how it can change your life for the worst or the better. I had this friend who I trusted who has helped me along the way and something has changed now we don't talk. He doesn't even give me the time of day. He taught me that every time you trust someone they turn around and walk away. I lost my best friend. I asked to be released from my calling because I couldn't do it because he wouldn't help me and I couldn't take the tears anymore. After I got released from the Relief Society Presidency our relationship changed. I was worried that it would and it changed for the worst. I lost my best friend someone who didn't judge me and accepted me for me, it never mattered to him where I came from or where I have been. He listened to me rant and complain about the silly things that bother me. I know they were silly to him but yet he listened.
You may think I live a double life but you have to know that Brigham was my comfort zone I know it like the back of my hand. My friends are there and my old job and job family is there. I know that I am one person and I have to chose which life I want to live. I can't run away from Utah County because life gets hard. My mom didn't raise quitters! We fight hard to get where we want to be. Money doesn't grow on trees you have to work hard to get what you want. I work because I know how and I know how important it is. Life is hard and Karma is a beast it bite back hard.
Brigham is a part of me. You can take the Girl from Brigham City but you can't take the City from the girl. If you don't accept both of my lives walk out of my life because I will always have a love for Brigham city.
My life has not been how I had my life plan but I wouldn't change how it turned out for anything in the world. I have had some amazing experiences. Life is hard but never lose sight of the end goal. Nothing is impossible. Keep the faith! Run hard play hard but RUN HARDER!