CURLY HAIR!

Hello Everyone! 

As everyone knows I have naturally curly hair. No it isn't a perm it is natural. Has it given me problems in the pass yes and it still does. It is not a perm it is all natural yes I relies it gets super big sometime. Weather change climate change many things are factors even shampoo and conditioner.

I want to take you back to 2013 I was in Fargo North Dakota at the time it is the middle of the summer and it is HUMID! My hair grows out not down. It was a humid day in Fargo North Dakota! I am on exchanges and when we go to get our normal companions back which I was not excited for. The one sister said, "Sister Dallon we need to talk." I was like this is going to be terrible what have I done now that my companion hates me for. This girl pulled out the white handbook and told me how distracting my hair was and I needed to get it cut or I would be sent home. I thought this was the dumbest thing I have ever heard. I got it cut because that is what you do when you are on a mission you are obedient. Well, my idiot of a mission president calls my mom and informs her my hair is curly and I am a white girl with an Afro. My mom kindly says, I know president I prayed for her to have curly hair! Then he goes on to tell her I need to braid it like I am African American. My mom says that is hard to do when she cut it off like she was told. This was the first of many phone calls from the president. After that I was like I am white with an Afro and I embraced the curl.

Never did it really bother me that I had curly hair. Yes there is jokes of do you have a perm? Did you stick your finger in an electrical outlet? Or wow you have a lot of hair. These are the normal jokes. Answer to them is NO I don't have a perm it is naturally this way. Second, NO I didn't stick my finger in an electrical outlet. Did you? Duh of course I have a lot of hair that is just obvious.

My mom prayed for me to have curly hair and you best bet I tell her she prayed to hard but I have learned to embrace the curl and love it. Some days are better than others. I am proud to say I am white and have curly hair. If you have a problem take it up with me but don't give me the jokes they are rude and inconsiderate! Life is hard and I don't need people bringing me down because I am white with curly hair! 

My curly is hair is what makes me unique I could careless if you care. Life is hard I am living the dream! Going to school and work and traveling the world! Keep the faith! Work hard play hard and run harder! Peace out Cub Scout! Off to my next adventure!

 

Happy 2018

Happy 2018 Family and Friends

A warm friendly welcome to 2018 where in the world did 2017 go. Life comes at ya fast you have to be ready for anything. Last year, I did many things I quit a few jobs. The first one was because I had to stand up for what I believed in. I was done taking the abuse of being low life soap scum. I was done being scared for my life when I went to work. The other one I quit because they lied to me about the pay and the shifts I would work and where I would be working. I don't do good if I hold up my end of the contract and you don't do diddle squat. Next job I left because it was a joke and not what I was promised. I found a job that I truly loved. I was apart of something a family away from home. I grew to love these people some more than others. There is a particular group that I enjoy spending time with and working with. These people are ones that build up my self esteem and don't tear me down because I get enough of that in school from my classmates. 

2017 was a great year for me a year of change and ADVENTURE! I went to Peru for two week to teach English to students there. It was hard yes but it is was worth it! I wouldn't change those experiences for anything. I don't speak Spanish and that was defiantly a barrier but nothing is impossible. I had a great tour guide and Professor to help me and the group to understand. I learned the Pure Love of Christ is in a child. 

I learned what it was like to lose your best friend to another girl one who didn't even want to be with him. Who treated him poorly. He loved that sweet sister. He stopped talking to me when I needed him the most. Once I got released from my calling that was the end of our friendship. It was a really hard time. We spent a lot of time together. We were so close now we don't even talk and we don't even look at each other. I miss the trust we had I miss the fun but mainly I miss him.

Life is full of surprises! Take them for what they are! Take life by the horns and let the ride begin! Live the dream! Work hard, play harder and until next time. Peace out Cub Scout! Keep the Faith!

Happy New Year! Here is to the Best year yet!

I Just Can't

I am not Super Woman even though I think I am. I am one person who is just trying to make it through each day. I just can't stretch myself so thin anymore. I can't work 30+ hours a week and go to school. I am one person. I am working on getting a 4.0 and right now that  seems impossible. But it isn't if I just believe in myself. I can do hard things because I have the Lord on my side. I just can't do it all anymore. My happiness has left, sadness has filled my heart.
There isn't enough time to do what I love and that's run. I can't run very well at the moment. I am strengthening my knee and leg. I hurt my leg about a month ago and it has put a dent in my running ability. I don't run because I have to. I run because it is my outlet from the world where I can get away. It has never hurt me not once. It may have given me torn ligaments and scrapped knees but in all reality that heals. Running heals the broken heart, takes away my sorrows. Running is my life. It is always there to pick me back up.
Life is hard and you just have to take it by the horns and go with it. I am not going to let you rule my life. You don't have that control anymore. I am the ruler of my own life.
I'm off to my next adventure. Until then keep the faith! Peace out cub scout! Live your dreams and don't let anyone stand in your way! You are possible! (Impossible= I'm possible)

Sense of Beloning

As I reflect on my life and school I relies that I don't belong. I relies that I am nothing special just another body in the hallway that no cares about. Just person in the class who the teacher could careless about. I don't belong in my cohort I have noticed how everyone has come from different backgrounds and not one from mine. I have never really had friends in class. This semester is really hard to be the outsider but yet I am used to it. Usually it doesn't phase me but this week it has. I have learned that sometimes you should just not say anything and just let people be people but I am not going to let someone be loud so I can't hear the professor. I am paying to get an education. I am working so hard to make money.
I hope and wish one day I will belong somewhere and not be the outsider. I know that I will be forever alone because no one wants to be with a girl who doesn't belong anywhere. I have learned that I don't matter to anyone but my family, at least I matter to them and I am good enough. I have learned over these past five months that I am not worth it or good enough. I never will be and that is fine. My parents will probably never get grand children but I guess that isn't the end of the world. I am just one person. I may not matter to anyone at school but it doesn't matter.
I have learned what its like to feel alone and having no one. I have learned how to love others even when I don't want too. I have learned how to accept being alone and that it is just how life is. I have learned that nothing is impossible you just have to work to get where you want to be. I have worked so hard to get where I am today and I really have nothing to show for it. I look at all the girls in my class and I relies that I am different I am not stuck up and I am different. This is why I have no friends. I have one friend who lives in Brigham and we get together when I come home for the weekend or the day. She is so great.
I just wish I had a sense of belonging somewhere. I wish someone would notice me and that I was good enough.
Well I am off to do homework and to study for the praxis. Have a great day! Keep the faith! Keep your chin up things can only go up from here. Peace Out Cub Scout! Over and Out!

The praxis

The praxis is like running a marathon. It's hard and it hurts when you fail. You trip and fall what do you do you get up brush off and say shoot I got to make up time and you go again. I brushed myself off and back got back up! Please stop telling me to quit trying because I won't. I am a FIGHTER!! My mom didn't raise quitters. I was last in every race until senior year. Did I quit no could I have oh yes but I kept going I kept running. I was in the middle of the pack my senior year and that was amazing to see how far I had come. It was all about the race between me and the clock!
The praxis is all a game. You win some you lose some. The praxis is a dumb standardized test but you always got to jump through the hoops. Never lose sight of the end goal! Keep the faith!
Nothing is impossible! It's only impossible if you quit!

Fear is Real!

The moment the mouse looked into my soul. I was so scared and not once did my best friend ever laugh at me, not once. Today I saw a mouse and I am truly blessed because my heavenly Father knows I am terrified of animals and he puts blinders on my eyes and ear plugs in my ears. But tonight I saw a mouse it was white with brown spots it looked right into my soul. It made eye contact with me and I started to cry I was all alone. My friend from a distance asked if I was okay and then the whole group laughed at me. You don't need to mock me because my fears are different than yours. I am human I have fears some are silly to you but a big deal to me. I remember once on my mission when I was truly blinded from the animals until we were leaving. We were cleaning this reptile house it was a members house. Let me back up a week prior the other sisters asked if we could help I asked if there would be animals oh no there won't be sister Dallon. I knew there would be. I prayed and prayed not to be scared the day comes and I am like I am confident it will be fine but no the tears come and my companion shakes me and says Sister Dallon get it together. I do my best after 15 minutes I say heavenly father I am here to serve please help me. He put a binder on my eyes I didn't see the snakes, or the mice until we were leaving.  Today as I saw this mouse it scared me so bad I'll I could do was cry and hope someone was braver than me to help me pass it. Someone came after everyone laughed at me. Today some boy came to my rescue I couldn't say anything with the tears but thanks. He said are you okay the tears fell harder. Then I realized how much my best friend my no longer best friend means to me. My heart was crying of embarrassment because the group who I thought were my friends were not. I thanked my one friend again today. He always responds and says you're welcome I get it. He never judged me. Why can't there be more people like him in this world who understand fears.
My fear of animals is real. It may be silly to you but it is so real to me I sometimes can't breathe as I am crying. It is hard but with my heavenly father I can make it through anything. Keep the faith! Work hard play hard run with all you have. Peace out cub scout. Until my next adventure. Peace and love!

The Day my Life Changed

For once in my life everything was going great. I then learned that there is bumps in the road and yes they are hard some are easier than others. I have seen how ever since I got released in March I have lost my best friend and the boy that I really like. I really liked this boy I loved the way he made me feel. He taught me how to be happy and to find the positives in life. He helped me become the person I needed to be. I learned how to love others and to see them for who they truly are. I learned that even though I am no longer with that boy and now he doesn't even speak to me. I am and never was good enough. I learned to trust and yet again I was the one who was crushed and torn apart. I learned on my mission to not trust others but with him, I knew from the moment I met him I could trust him. I let him in and I let my guard down and my walls. I really liked him so much. He was the most amazing person I have ever met. He truly changed my life. I just can't believe that one date changed it all. He was my number one. He was my best friend. I have lost him. I just wish that it could of happened differently or it wouldn't of happened at all. I was so happy when I had him in my life. I don't need a boy in my life to be happy. He was there for me when I failed my test he was there the first time, the second, third, fourth and fifth and every time since. He told me once how sorry he was as I was crying he said "You listen to me and I listen to you Jill we are a team we do things together." That was the day I knew that he was different and that no matter what I would always have him. I never thought I would lose him. The day I knew that I lost him was the day he stopped texting me and talking to me. I wish it would of happened after Peru because when I was in Peru was when I needed him the most. He was truly my best friend but April 1, 2017 everything changed. He was no longer my friend and he doesn't talk to me and I wish he just knew how bad he was truly hurting me. I loved that boy so much.Every since the day he left my life I haven't found the happiness I had while I had him in my life. He snaps me once a day to keep our streak alive. I just wish I could talk to him to let him know how I really feel. He is the most amazing person in the whole world and only deserved the best. I hope that he fines the most amazing girl in the world because that is what he truly deserves. It may not be me but that's okay. Yes it hurts but it only makes me stronger. You can only run away for so long until you have to face reality. Never give up on your dreams. Never give up even if you aren't good enough for the boy you like. Keep your chin up and move on. You are amazing and will always be good enough! Keep the faith!
Until next time! Peace out Cub scout!