Sense of Beloning

As I reflect on my life and school I relies that I don't belong. I relies that I am nothing special just another body in the hallway that no cares about. Just person in the class who the teacher could careless about. I don't belong in my cohort I have noticed how everyone has come from different backgrounds and not one from mine. I have never really had friends in class. This semester is really hard to be the outsider but yet I am used to it. Usually it doesn't phase me but this week it has. I have learned that sometimes you should just not say anything and just let people be people but I am not going to let someone be loud so I can't hear the professor. I am paying to get an education. I am working so hard to make money.
I hope and wish one day I will belong somewhere and not be the outsider. I know that I will be forever alone because no one wants to be with a girl who doesn't belong anywhere. I have learned that I don't matter to anyone but my family, at least I matter to them and I am good enough. I have learned over these past five months that I am not worth it or good enough. I never will be and that is fine. My parents will probably never get grand children but I guess that isn't the end of the world. I am just one person. I may not matter to anyone at school but it doesn't matter.
I have learned what its like to feel alone and having no one. I have learned how to love others even when I don't want too. I have learned how to accept being alone and that it is just how life is. I have learned that nothing is impossible you just have to work to get where you want to be. I have worked so hard to get where I am today and I really have nothing to show for it. I look at all the girls in my class and I relies that I am different I am not stuck up and I am different. This is why I have no friends. I have one friend who lives in Brigham and we get together when I come home for the weekend or the day. She is so great.
I just wish I had a sense of belonging somewhere. I wish someone would notice me and that I was good enough.
Well I am off to do homework and to study for the praxis. Have a great day! Keep the faith! Keep your chin up things can only go up from here. Peace Out Cub Scout! Over and Out!