Mixed Feelings (Wrote in January)

 Hello Blogger Fam! 

I know I do not write as much as I should and this post is going to have some anger, loneliness and happiness. I wrote this back in January but was to angry to post it. 

I have been told no a lot in my life but never once have I ever been told there is no room in the inn. I don't know why that bothered me so much. It just made me think about Mary and Joseph because they had to go to a stable to give birth to the baby Jesus. I am sure it hurt Mary's feelings but she just went and did what she needed to do. I was told that there was no room in the inn, I don't know why it bothered me so much! I didn't really want to go to Paris. I would have liked to go yes but never really thought anything about it until I was told there isn't room in the inn. Those words weren't used per say but that was implied. I am not upset my family went. I am truly grateful they went and are enjoying their time and I am so thankful for the pictures. 

Something that has bothered me about this situation is when people say dumb things. I know it shouldn't matter but it doesn't. I am a grown woman. I don't need you to ask if I am surviving without my mom. I am doing fine thanks. Just a little more lonely than normal. Mind you I live in the middle of no where with no people so yes when my family went to Paris yes it was said because it made it so I was left all alone. Yes, it stinks but it isn't the end of the world. Yes, I have to reach out to my friends instead of my lifelines because my lifelines are out of the country and that is okay. Because I know the sun that shines on me is shining on them. Different times of day but its still the same sun and the same moon. 

I got a text a week ago it was a tender mercy. My friend from my old singles ward reached out and said she went to another friends relief society lesson. I have a friend who talks about Jesus all the time and talks about Him like He is her best friend. It's really true. Jesus is her best friend and I know that He is with her all the time. Later I found out that she was talking about me. It brought tears to my eyes because she didn't know how much I needed to hear that. I have recently turned my back on Him not on purpose but it just happened. I miss that girl I used to be and the way I used to feel inside. 

Thank you for listening and reading my rant! 

I am off to my next adventure! Send Coke! I mean that with all seriousness or grape crush is also accepted. 😉 When life gets to hard drink a coke and go for a run! Don't forget to pray because sometimes that is all you have and he isn't going to turn his back on you! 

Until next time, Peace Out Cub Scout! Work hard, play harder, and RUN YOUR HEART OUT! Pray a little louder and run a little farther. Never fortget the end goal! Keep the Faith! Over and out! 

2024 has come and gone. Hello New Adventures 2025

 Hello Blogger Fam! 

This one is going to be raw and honest. I am so grateful for all the adventures, the laughs, and pain that 2024 has brought. I learned so much about myself.

Here are the top five highlights of 2024.

1. Going to a quilt retreat in February in Quitman Texas.

2.  Going to Missouri Star with my mom and her best friend.

3. Cruising to Alaska

4. Being on the news.

5. Getting donut wart removed from my knee. 

2024 taught me a lot about people and about myself. I learned that it is okay to not trust anyone but yourself because you aren't going to hurt yourself. I learned that I have some of the toughest friends around. I almost lost one in a motorcycle accident but she is a fighter and guess what she is finally able to walk again. During this time she was going through a divorce and she never once said why me she said I got this. I am so grateful for 2024 and I am so ready for 2025 I hope it is the year my dreams come true. 

I heard something this week that has definitely changed my perspective on things. I know who is in my corner and who is willing to support me as I try to get back into school so I can change careers. I love my job I do. I am grateful for the opportunity I have to be a teacher but I am ready for a new adventure. I am ready to finally listen to that voice in my head that says go and not the one that says stay it is safe here. It maybe safe but it isn't helping me grow I am staying in one place. It is okay to change because no matter what people are going to talk so give them a reason. Go and fight for your dreams don't give up because you think you can't. I am here to tell you, you can even if it means taking the test over 50 times keep pushing through because eventually it is going to be the best feeling when you get that piece of paper that says you did it. Don't let others tell you, you can't because you can. 

I am sick of the people telling me it is stupid to go back to school and I can't do it and it isn't worth it. It is worth it to me. I had one friend looked me straight in the face and said 4 years is going to pass if you go to school or if you don't. I am going to take the jump this year and get back into school. I hope FASFA will be my friend but if not I will work two jobs so I can make my dreams come true. 

I am going on some big adventures this year and let me tell you what I am annoyed about the flights and how they worked out but it is what it is. I am excited for my adventure in July and I am excited to start school in the fall I hope. I am excited to try something new and become the person I know I can be.

If you feel the need to tell me I can't do it or you don't believe in me please delete my phone number and leave my life for good because I am done with the ones who are against me. If you are going to support me awesome. If not I don't need you. I am thankful for the friends who are there and believe in me and are giving me the courage to try and get back into school.

Here is to 2025 lets make our dreams come true! 

I am off to my next adventure. Send Coke! I mean that will all seriousness or grape crush is also accepted. 😉  When life gets to hard drink a coke and look at the stars. Don't forget to pray because sometimes that is all you have! 

Until next time, Peace out Cub Scout! Work hard, play harder, and RUN YOUR HEART OUT! Pray a little louder and run a little farther. Never forget the end goal! Keep the faith! Here is to new adventures and making dreams come true! Over and out! 

Grateful

 Hello Blogger Fam! 

What a whirl wind it has been! If I didn't blog today I would be so ungrateful. This weekend the love I have felt. It was the weekend of the deer hunt which means bake sale for the Grouse Creek Buckaroos. 

If I didn't blog today to share my gratitude I would be so ungrateful. Tender mercies of this weekend. It was the weekend of the deer hunt which means it was the bake sale for Grouse Creek Buckaroos! It is the weekend that my school raises money for their field trip. This year we raised $998 more dollars than last year thank you to everyone who came and supported us.

I want to give a few shout outs. One to my friend Morgan who drove all the way from American Fork it is a 4 hour drive but she came. She came to support me as a human, a teacher and a friend. She helped me understand some curriculum I was struggling with. She helped me make the breakfast burritos she helped set up for the bake sale. I know it was a simple gesture but it meant the world to me to have you come and visit me. I am so lucky and grateful to call you my friend and to have you in my life! 

Next shout out goes to Mrs. Pettingill! Thank you for driving 3 hours to come and support me and then turn around and drive the 3 hours home! Thank you for coming and supporting my students and my school. Thank you for even helping me with my dishes. I know driving the 3 hours to help me with dishes wasn't what you signed up for. Thank you for being you and coming to support me! 

Lastly, I want to give a shout out to my dad! My dad is the best! He comes and checks for mice and sits at a bake sale in the cold and he even checked for mice and got rid of it for me. He took me to the dump and let me wear his coat so I wouldn't freeze and he froze but he stayed like a champ and supported me and my school.

I am truly the luckiest school teacher and person to be alive. I am so thankful for my friends and family for the love they have for me and the support they show me. I am truly grateful for the love and support I felt this weekend. Changing jobs a year ago truly changed my life for the better. It helped me get back to being safe in my life. It taught me that I am worth something and can do anything. It taught me that even though life is hard it is worth it. Changing jobs I didn't think I would last a year or a month. But look at me now I am making something of myself. I asked for an adventure and I got one! It has been a crazy ride but it has changed my life for the better. The 400 miles a week on my car. I am truly grateful for who I am becoming. Grouse Creek has changed me and my life! There is just something about this community! 

Thank you Morgan, Mrs. Pettingill and my Dad for coming to spend the weekend with me and my students! 

I am off to my next adventure! Send Coke! I mean that with all seriousness grape crush is also accepted too! 😉 When life gets hard drink a coke. 😊 And don't forget to pray because sometimes that is all you have! 

Until next time, Peace Out Cub Scour! Work hard, play harder, RUN YOUR HEART OUT! Pray a little louder! Never loose sight of the end goal! Peace and Love! Over and Out! 

I should have stopped.

 Hello Blogger Fam! 

Have you ever had a regret or done something that you wish you hadn't or something that you wish you had. Well, this past Thursday on my normal commute to Brigham City. I was driving as I normally do, it was muddy at the start and then once I got 11 miles on the dirt road then it was smooth sailing. I continued on my journey past Park Valley and then got to the Kelton sign and the road was wet and icy. My car started sliding in and out of the lane and all I could do was hold the steering wheel and pray that I wouldn't hit the barriers and luckily no cars were coming. I got control back and I could see car parts on the side of the road and then there was a man holding his front bumper. I didn't stop I drove by. I didn't stop. That was the worst decision that I have ever made. I haven't stopped thinking about that split second decision. I drove 1 mile and turned around and someone had stopped to help him. I was so grateful for that man who stopped to help that man because I was a jerk. I should have stopped! 

I texted my principal and asked her if it was her husband stopped to help a man right passed the Kelton sign and she said yes. 

I should have stopped. I know that I can't change the past but I can decide now that if I can be of service to someone. I will  stop and help them. 

I hope that if there ever comes a day that I am on the side of the road someone will stop and help me and not be a Jill and just look and drive by. I did turn around and to go check on him but I still should have stopped. 

Make the choice now on the person that you want to be. If you want to be the person who stops or the person who drives by. I know we are all busy and have many things on our minds but you never know how something so simple will change your life.

Until next week! Send Coke! I mean that with all seriousness or grape crush is accepted too. 😉

I am off to my next adventure. When life gets hard, drink a coke.😊  And don’t forget to pray because sometimes that’s all you have. Until, next time, Peace Out Cub Scout. Work hard, play harder, RUN YOUR HEART OUT! Pray a little louder! Never lose sight of the end goal! Keep the Faith! Peace and Love! Over and Out! 

Quilt Retreat!

 Hello Blogger Fam! 

Have you ever wondered why school teachers don't take time off? Well I am here to tell you that it is easier to go to work than to make sub plans. I know that sounds silly but it is so true. Because you end up teaching even when you are away. You love your students as your own. You will do what is best for them and that is being there for them everyday. Even the days when you start out with two crying students from getting off the bus. I love my students and I would do anything for them. I now want to tell you about the adventure that I embarked on last week! 

What is a quilt retreat you might ask. It is where you go and sew and you don't even have to wear real clothes you can wear your pajamas all day if you want or your yoga pants. You can work on your UFO (unfinished objects/projects) or on a group project.

I have been following this wonderful lady on youtube and learned so much from her on quilting. I found out she was having a quilt retreat and I watched it and watched it, I told myself at Christmas if there was still spots left I would go and guess what there was. Just two spaces left!  In October a lot of things were happening and my dad who never really says much said I should go because it would be a way to get away and to go and do something I love sewing! My best friend and I went and it was so much fun! It was in Quitman, Texas. I met so many amazing people I learned so much. I have met many people that I would have never met if I wouldn't have went. I love those ladies that I have met. I got to sew all day for three days and I didn't have a worry in the world. It was so fun to go and relax and to meet people who have the same passion about quilting and sewing like I do. 

This quilt retreat was what I needed to relax and to find happiness in my life again. It was such an amazing experience. I am so thankful that I was able to go. I got to go to Bucee's and I got to sew three quilt tops and I learned how to make a new quilt and let me tell you what who ever said it was for beginners was crazy.  I loved meeting the lady I follow on youtube and I am so thankful for the time she took to get to know me and make me feel important. She took the time to understand me and to answer all my questions. She even called me and answered all my questions before the retreat. She is incredible! 

Quilting is way more than sewing it is feeling of freedom and letting your creativity come out. The fabric speaks for you when you can't speak for yourself. I have learned that quilting brings joy not only to me but to others to.

I am so thankful for the opportunity that I had to go to this quilt retreat and to meet some amazing people and to make friends from all over the country! 

I am off to my next adventure! Send Coke! I mean that with all seriousness or grape crush is accepted too! 😉 When life gets hard, drink a coke. 😊 And don't forget to pray because sometimes that is all you have! 

Until next time, Peace Out Cub Scout! Work Hard, play harder, RUN YOUR HEART OUT! Pray a little louder! Never lose sight of the end goal! Peace and Love! Over and Out! 

They take care of their own! No matter the task!

Hello Blogger Fam! 

If I didn't blog today I would be very ungrateful! As I got ready to leave my parents house, all I could think about was how I was going to have to shovel my driveway and sidewalk. To my surprise when I pulled in from my 2.5 hour commute my driveway was clear and so was my sidewalk. My silent prayers were answered. I am truly blessed to be apart of this community. It isn't just the snow, it's all the things this community does and being welcomed with open arms. Let me tell you about some of the other amazing things this community. 

First off I want to start with saying how grateful I am for the kind soul or souls who cleared my driveway and sidewalk. I came home to a cleared driveway and sidewalk after a big winter storm. I am so thankful to live in this community. They took me in when I was broken, torn and trying to rebuild my self esteem, they took me in when I had no where to live but the school but they didn't have that, they found me a place to stay for a month, while the place I was supposed to live was getting finished. Once the place I was supposed to move into was ready. It was a the whole community was here to move me in and in less than 20 minutes all my stuff was moved in. 

I am so thankful to be apart of a community that welcomes outsiders  (if they know you are coming, if you are a hick hiker that is another story) and takes them in as their own (they protect their own). I am thankful for the people who I can call to come and kill a spider that is 6 feet big and I mean that! Or the ones who come and get a dead mouse and remove it from my house as I am screaming and crying like a 5 year old because I am pretty sure I am going to die, because I am so scared. I am so thankful for this new adventure I have embarked on. I am thankful to be the school teacher out here. I am truly the luckiest teacher. I love this community. When I first started I thought people were crazy for living out in the middle of nowhere but I was the one that was wrong. I have met the most amazing people out here. 

I love being apart of a community that when you drive to town after a snow storm they say text me when you get to your parents so I know you are safe. I am thankful for the janitor who calls to check on me to make sure that I made it back safe. I am truly the luckiest school teacher around. What other teacher can say that when you leave for the weekend everyone is concerned for their well being. 

I am truly the lucky one. I am so thankful for the journey that got me here and the opportunity I have to be here. I am thankful for all the challenges that I had to go through to get here, all the hiccups and I am so thankful that I took the leap of faith to come out and to start a life for myself in the middle of nowhere. I wouldn't change it for the world. I am so grateful for all the no's that I got. It only takes one yes and I am so thankful that this was my yes! I love this adventure and this community! Thank you for taking me in when I needed it the most and most importantly thanks for taking a chance on me! 

I am off to my next adventure! Send Coke! I mean that with all seriousness or grape crush is accepted too! 😉 When life gets hard, drink a coke. 😊 And don't forget to pray because sometimes that is all you have!

Until next time, Peace Out Cub Scout. Work hard, play harder, RUN YOUR HEART OUT! Pray a little louder! Never lose sight of the end goal! Keep the Faith! Peace and Love! Over and Out! 

So long 2023! Welcome New Adventures 2024!

Hello Blogger Fam!

 
So long 2023! Hello 2024!

What an adventure 2023 was, it changed my life for the better. It had it's ups and downs as every year does but this was one for the books. It changed my life for the better! It taught me how to stand up for what I believe in and what to fight for and what to not fight for. Here are the top 5 things that changed my life in 2023.

1. Having oral surgery in July.

2. Going to the gym in the mornings at 5 am and the morning chats.

3. Getting a new job and attending the rural school conference.

4. Going to Missouri Star and Oklahoma with my mom.

5. Being able to attend 2 of my best friends weddings both in September.

2023 was a year that didn't go how I planned but it went the way it needed to. It shaped me into a better person and a happier one. I learned that I am strong enough to handle hard things and I am never alone. You never realize how alone you really are until you are homeless just praying to sleep, then moving into a bunk house and you just pray to not see a mouse or have one in your car and to live to see that next day. Life is hard but the hiccups in the road make it all worth it. I learned that a dead mouse isn't going to kill you even though it is as big as a rhinoceros.

If you would have asked me a year ago what my life would look like it would have been staying in West Valley teaching the morning conversations at the gym Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I would be living in the city around things and still seeing my friends everyday. The year had its ups and downs but I wouldn't change it for anything.  

Out with the old and in with the new. I am so excited for this year and all of the adventures! I am hoping for one real adventure this year and I hope it finds me and if not I hope I get some adventure that is life changing and I hope to get to spend sometime with my brother! 

I must tell you I am finally an adult, I changed my own toilet seat and I used my very own drill yes I did have to call my dad to ask how to take the drill part out of the drill but I did it. 

Here is to 2024 and new adventures! 

I am off to my next adventure! Send Coke! I mean that with all seriousness or grape crush is accepted too. 😉 When life gets hard, drink a coke. 😊 And don't forget to pray because sometimes that is all you have. 

Until next time, Peace Out Cub Scout. Work hard, play harder, RUN YOUR HEART OUT! Pray a little louder! Never lose sight of the end goal! Keep the Faith! Peace and Love! Over and Out! Here is to new adventures and great things ahead!