One Man Band better than a No Man Band

What a crazy world we live in. I started a new job this fall teaching 1st grade at a charter school. I was so excited because they were going to take a chance on me because I don't quite have my teaching licence. I came from a team of teachers working together to a team that doesn't even talk to each other unless it is convient for Ms. Henry (name changed). I don't know all the ways of this school I am and doing my best to learn them. I try asking my team lead and she just looks at me disgusted like "WOW YOU ARE AN IDIOT!" I will be the first to tell you I am an idiot I don't need your help in knowing that. I am doing the best I can but yet I am an outsider.
I work so hard, give it my all and yet that is never good enough. Life is hard and sometimes you just have to suck it up butter cup. I have learned over these past 5 months that if you need help you have to search long and hard to find it because where I am no one really cares. I want to tell you about an experience I had the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. We had an accumulating activity because you can't say party because that is not politically correct in this school totally fine. Ms. Henry said she had it taken care of little did I know that she thought 90 1st graders could run wild. I had a parent ask me if I planned it and I said no, the other teacher told me she had it under control. Man was I mistaken. I have never once not ever wanted to go back to work until this day. People asked me how I was and I said if I didn't have to come back Monday I wouldn't. After that day people changed.
After that day people started to come and ask me how they could help me. They started noticing me. Have you ever felt like you don't matter where ever you go? That is the struggle of my life. This past week has been the hardest but yet know one knows that. No one knows what goes on in my life. I walk down the hall and no one cares. I don't need people to care sometimes I just need a friendly hello to know that I belong.
There is one teacher that I work with who goes out of her way to come and make sure I am okay and to help me. She comes and checks on me everyday. She has taken me under wing. I am so thankful for this teacher because without her I am pretty sure I would never want to go back. She calls me on the weekends, she calls me outside of school hours to see how I am doing.
I love teaching! I love to see the I understand Ms. Dallon looks. I love to see the Ms. Dallon where do you come from look because we don't understand why you are so excited about science and history. I love my kiddos all 28 of them I know that no matter what at least they forgive me and we can still be friends at the end of the day. Teaching is hard but I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. They love a student has for their teacher is the most amazing love you will ever feel! It is what makes the hard days worth it! It is what makes the long weeks worth it. They energy they have the spunk. I love watching them grow and learning with them. I love my job, even if I am a one man band!
On to my next adventure! Play hard, run harder and go run a half marathon! Over and Out! Peace Out Cub Scout!

FEAR IS REAL

Have you ever been so scared you couldn't move? Fear came over my entire body. Worry filled my mind. She pounded on the door and rang the doorbell for an hour and a half. She moved to my bedroom window. I went to the closet to call my roommate we hid in the bathroom. We looked at each other and said what do we do. We called non emergency dispatch and the police came over, that lady stayed on the phone with me until the officer got here. He talked like my Uncle Spencer so I knew he was the police! He was there to let us know we were safe. He left and not ten minutes later it happened again, we got a look at the woman. Our hearts were pounding we were shaking. We called the non emergency dispatch again and the officer came back but this time with 4 other officers. We sat on the couch and watch two shows. The time passed ever so slowly as my heart was pounding and my body shaking I just remember the fear. I have never felt that kind of fear. The fear that fills your whole body! I never again want to fill it again. I will never forget that moment. I didn't feel safe but I knew I was the officers were right outside. Fear is real! Our privacy felt like it was violated. A night of no sleep is what that came to be. I can't explain the fear I felt. We stayed on the couches together the rest of the night. Thank you to all the officers out there who protect everyday. That was the scariest thing of my life. Heavenly Father definitely protects us. He was there for us when we were so scared. I could feel his love while I was laying on the couch. I don't know if they found the crazy lady, but I do know that I was safe even though I didn't feel it. The officers were right outside. Fear is real never laugh at someone's fear it is a real thing and everyone has different demons to face.

I'm off to my next adventure! Peace out cub scout. Over and out! Work hard, play hard and run harder.  ALWAYS REMEMBER TO LOCK YOUR DOORS!!!

Life is a Roller Coaster

Life isn't what you make it out to be it. .Things don't happen in your timing but in the Lord's I am 28 years old and single. They always say you have to love yourself before anyone else will love you. I have learned the so much these past few months. I started a new job I moved into an apartment. I have leaned that my life hasn't gone the way I planned it to. I have learned so much these past few months. I have learned that everyone is against you and the only person on your side is the Lord. I have learned that you are going to have hard days and they aren't fun but you learn how to deal with them. I am so grateful for all my struggles and for all I have accomplished and learned my life has changed.
I met this lady who definitely changed my life. She would say hi to me everyday. I never knew how much I appreciated her until the day she left. I am so thankful that I got to know her. I am so sad that she is off to bigger and better adventures. She taught me so much! She taught me that it is okay as long as you are doing your best that is all that matters. I have learned to love others and to accept their flaws because I know they aren't perfect and neither am I.
This post is short but it has a strong message never give up keep fighting. Don't be afraid to fail because if at first you don't succeed try try again! Keep the faith! Until next time over and out! Run your heart out and Keep the Faith! Peace out Cub scout off to my next adventure!

Best Friends Wedding

Today was the day that I knew I lost you. Not because you got married but because of the road in life you are taking. You are pushing me away. I can’t help you if you push me away. When you are ready to come back I will be here with open arms. Today I watched my best friend of 9 years get married and this was the time that I knew I was losing her. I still have her family but I will miss you. When I needed someone’s faith to lean on I leaned on hers. When life got tough I leaned on her and relied on her. I know that she will find her way back to the church. The lord didn’t leave her like she thinks he did. He never did. He is just letting her find her own way. I know she will come back because her parents raised her right. I know that her twins are in the celestial kingdom. I hope that she relies that she can make it there too. It doesn’t matter have far you have strayed you can always come back! You just have to remember the time when you hit rock bottom and the only person who was there was the lord. Sometimes I know that it is hard. Life is hard and full of heart ache. But Heavenly Father never leaves you helpless or hopeless. He is just waiting for you to come back to him. His door is always open. You just have to be willing to open it. I have seen this in my own life. Because when I had no one I had my heavenly father and I knew that if I had him I would be safe even though the pain was way more than I could bear he would take it. I needed that hard companion in my life to see how great my life really is.

I hope you find your way back my friend and when you do I will be here with open arms waiting for you. You are a beautiful bride and person inside and out. I am so lucky to have you as my best friend! I just hope you remember your great worth and the covenants you have made! You are amazing. I love you! Please never forget where you came from and never forget the struggles that helped you get there. You bless the lives of many and I am so lucky that my life has been one of them. When I left the reception that day. I knew that I had lost you. 

My dear friend. I will always love you and will always be here. Please remember who you are and what you stand for! Return with honor! You are amazing and you only deserve the best! I am so thankful you have found someone who is as amazing as you! Keep the faith! I am off to my next adventure! Peace out cub scout! Work hard, play harder and run your heart out! Over and out until next time! 

MY BEST FRIEND

My best friend she is 5 foot tall skinny as can be. Buffer than anyone else I know. She is amazing. We have been friends since grade school. We don't talk everyday nor do we need to! We went to a paint nite this week and she made me realize how much I have missed her. She has been there through the big moments in life and the small ones too. She has taught me to smile when times got hard. She reminds me how to find the sunshine when I feel the world is crashing down. She reminds me of my great worth. She believes in me. Quote of the week. Don't fight for me because you are my friend, fight for me because you BELIEVE IN ME!! Geri has believed in me since we were 7. We fight sometimes but we are always friends at the end of the day. I found out this week I lost my job because I don't quite yet have my teaching license. I have another friend who informed me that the director where I am doesn't think I can get it by August. Well I am a fighter and I will have it! I told this to Geri and she said Jill you can do anything you put your mind to! You got this. She is fighting for me because she BELIEVES IN ME not because she is my friend. I love this girl so much! I loved painting with her this week. Sometimes you just need to go back to the basics. Time with Geri is time well spent. Thank you for spending time with me and making time for me! This girl is truly my best friend.
Never lose sight of the end goal and don't forget where you came from! Keep the faith! I'm peacing out on to my next adventure until next time! Peace and love! Peace out cub scout! ✌& ❤

The Praxis

Why is it when you want something so bad and you work so hard for it? They say you get used to the pain. It still hurts the tears still come, but it doesn't define me. I still have my smile and a rewarding job. The praxis is only a bump in the road. It will not take my dream from me. Some of you may not know what the praxis is but it's a test you must pass to get your teaching license. I have been taking it for 3 years. I will pass one day and that will be the day, I dance and jump for joy. I AM NOT A QUITTER!
They say the pain comes and the pain goes but the disappointment is the worst pain of all. You have given it your all and to see the score lower than low. I put my head on the steering wheel and just ask myself why. Then I think without this trial I am nothing. Passing the praxis will be one of the best days of my life. Until then over and out! Play hard run harder. Keep the faith and never lose sight of the end goal. I'm off to my next adventure. Peace out Cub Scout! Over and Out!

Life Comes at Ya Fast

Hello Blog World,

It has been a hot minute and so much has changed. I am working at a real life teacher! I graduated in December and a job fell into my lap in January. I have learned so much with the learn and curve. I have seen how it is important to get to know your students and to know the way they learn best. It is important to listen to them even though sometimes they aren't on topic. Teaching is a new adventure everyday not everyday is the same. It has it's ups and downs it is worth it to go home and know that you made an impact on a child's life.
I have learned over the past few months that sometimes the home life really impacts the school life. If there is a problem at home then it comes to school with them and affects their behavior. I teach second grade and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for my job because in a blink of an eye it could be gone.
One of the most amazing people I know lost their job this week all because of another driver trying to make the light. Of course it all comes to the bus driver because it is clearly his fault the car thought it had enough space to go. I don't understand people. He is now fighting it. Car who ran the yellow light you have a job my brother now doesn't because you thought you could make it. Now attorneys are getting involved. I hope they have your license plate so you can at least get a ticket for all the pain you have caused me and my family. It doesn't matter to you because you still have food at your table, you still have a job, well my brother doesn't have any of that anymore thanks to you. I am just amazed that people like you in this world don't think about the consequences before you act. Thank you for helping me lose faith in people.
I am off to prepare for the day. I am off to my next adventure. Peace out cub scout. Stay safe! Until next time. Keep the faith! Play hard, RUN HARDER! Over and Out!