My APA Journey

Hello Blogger World,

What a crazy 10 months it has been. If you asked me 10 months ago where I would be today it wouldn't be where I am. I would have told you heck to the no! I hated my job and what I was doing with my life. I was angry at the world. I was angry at myself because I had gotten so low that nothing would help me get back up. Then I finally got a job and started it the next day. I had a friend tell me that the school I was going to work for was a terrible place, therefore that is where my mindset was. I counted the fast Sundays because it makes life easier to count. I will never forget the first day of school. I sobbed at my desk, holding my head saying Jill Anne you made a mistake. I didn't just start teaching that day I moved that day too. My instructor's husband came in and was like how are you and I just cried and he said I am so sorry. 

The first day I am not going to lie to you was so HARD! Did I want to quit? HECK TO THE YES! I was ready to run and I mean run on my two feet I was going to run to Rhode Island. For those of you who don't know Rhode Island is a 37 hour drive so just imagine how long it would be to run it would be 748 hours to run without stopping or WPA stops. (water, pee and air)

Looking back on the school year and to now would I change my life. No I have loved my journey, it has been hard for sure, hasn't been a cake walk! It has been an uphill marathon. I mean straight up hill. The journey got easier in January and that was when my mindset changed. Why? Because I looked at the world in a different way. I tried to find the positives everyday and not the negatives. I was finding the negatives in everything I did. I was the most negative Nancy you have ever met. I woke up one morning and said Jill you are done and no one wants to be around you because you are bringing everyone down. But once I started to find the positives life got better I made a few friends. I made some amazing friends that I hope to be friends with for a long time! LIfe is more fun with friends and easier because you can share the workload. 

When you start to find the positives in life you start to get the adventure of a lifetime. The way you see the world changes and the happier you are. Look for the positives even when life gives you lemons, there is still a positive to be found. 

Working for APA has changed my life for the better! It may have been the worst thing of my life for the longest time but now it is truly a blessing in my life. There is a quote that I think about when I think about my life in APA. Sometimes your biggest struggle is your greatest strength. Something like that. Working for APA isn't for the weak! Yes, there are things I don't like of course because everywhere you go there is. I am so blessed to be a part of the APA family, I have met some amazing people and made some amazing friends. 

I am off to my next adventure until next time! Peace Out Cub Scout! Work hard, play harder, Run your hardest! Don't lose sight of the end goal. Keep the Faith! 

I Will Protect You...

Hello Blogger World,

Today I come to you with a heart full of gratitude to one kind sir. For the last day of school we had a no missing work party for the students who didn't have any missing work from online school. Their reward for no missing work was throwing water balloons at the teachers they could bring their own or earn up to three. Ms. Mad Hatter and I filled up 840 water balloons for this. We had a blast filling them up. As teachers we lined up waiting for students to come and throw them from their cars. I walk up and down the line of people because we all know I can't be in one spot for a long time. I was standing by Ms. Mad Hatter and Mr. Kind Sir because they are my favorite people, I love them! I went and got some balloons so we could have a secret stash of water balloons to throw at admin or each other. As we were getting balloons thrown at us Mr. Kind Sir said Ms. Dallon is that Harvey (name changed)  and I didn't even register he was talking to me yet again he said the same thing, Ms. Dallon is that Harvey, all of the sudden it was Jill is the Harvey. I said where and he said right there. I was shocked it was Harvey. I gulped and was like yes yes it is. Mr. Kind Sir didn't even think twice he said I will protect you! Stand behind me I will protect you. He stood in front of me and said, I won't let them hurt you, stay behind me I will protect you. Standing behind him was the safest I have felt in a long time. He took a pounding of water balloons for me that day.I know that sounds so silly to you but no one has ever done that for me before. I saw a different side of that man that day. It was the protective side he was going to keep me safe no matter what. He wasn't going to let anything hurt me as he did many times before. He listened the day I told him that I was afraid of that parent he didn't even think twice about protecting me from this student and the parent. I told Mr. Kind Sir one day about this student and the parent and how I was afraid and I am not afraid of many people but this man I am afraid. I will always remember the kindness of Mr. Kind Sir. He is an amazing person and I am so lucky to have him as friend. I am so thankful for the love and kindness he showed me that day. There are still good people in this world. Mr. Kind Sir thank you for all you do for me and thank you for protecting me from the water balloons from Harvey and the parent. You are incredible! 

I am off to my next adventure! Peace out cub scout. Until next time, Work hard, play harder, Run the hardest. Follow your heart! Never lose sight of the end goal! Keep the Faith! 

Bryce Canyon Adventures

Hello Blogger Fam! 

I am coming today to tell you about my weekend adventures! I was able to go to Bryce Canyon with my friend and her family. It was an adventure! It was so much fun to get away and do some soul searching. Did I get any answers to my problems or questions yes and no. I want to start by telling you about the sunset. We went into the National Park and went to Sunset Point. It was beautiful there, the clouds were black and the sun shined through and it was incredible! It was so peaceful and the quietness you felt was so real. Fast forward to the next day, we wake up and go on a nice little run. Then we showered, got ready, went to breakfast and found out when we were going horseback riding. Yes I am terrified of animals. We got to the horse back ride. I get the horse Benny. I didn't have a melt down getting on the horse. I specifically told the guide I was afraid and he said you got the best horse you will be fine. I was fine until it started moving and then the tears came and the meltdown came. The guide stopped and said what is your name. I'm crying at this point and can barely get Jill out. Okay Jill it's okay let it out. Do you need some water or a treat? Everyone is nervous, the other guide comes up to me and says she is terrified of animals. Frank the guide said oh this makes sense he walks me over to the group and continues to try to distract me. Kieffer is a bull rider he won't let anything happen to you, in my head I am like what does that have to do with anything. Therefore, I was the leader of the pack right behind Kieffer, he sat sideways to keep my mind off of being scared. He asked about my life, things I like to do, and what I did for work. He was a very nice kind teenie bopper. He never laughed; he said everything would be fine and it was. My horse only got out of line one and yes I freaked out. I lived to tell about it! The little 3rd grader behind me in the group was very upset he couldn't be the leader. Horseback riding was fun. It was a blast once I got over the fear. I didn't panic until it started to move and the meltdown was one 2 minutes that is a record mark it down in the books. 

After the horseback ride we went and had lunch and ice cream. We then went hiking and in the middle of the hike it started to rain as it does in Utah it was a 10 minute storm. It made the trail so slippery and we made it back up to the top and were covered in dirt, mud and sand. We then went back to the hotel and had dinner and then got cleaned up. 

It was a great adventure! It was so great to go soul searching and to see some amazing things. It was worth the drive and amazing to see Bryce Canyon! 

I am off to my next adventure! Peace out cub scout. Until next time, Work hard, play harder, Run the hardest. Follow your heart! Never lose sight of the end goal! Keep the Faith! 

Teaching in a Crazy Time

Hello Blogger World,

What a crazy time we have come to live in? I first would like to start off on the teacher's point of view and then I will move to the normal Jill point of view. 

Teachers are getting a lot of crap from parents. I promise you it is just as hard for me as it is for you. I am doing my best to make the videos and making sure your student is getting what they need. I make mistakes yes and I do my best to fix them. Please know I am doing the best I can. I am giving it 1000% I am giving it everything I have, I am making house calls to help students succeed. I am working around the clock to answer emails and fix problems. I know that you are with your student all day and are their teacher now but I need you to enjoy this time because you are able to see how they are really doing first hand. You are able to see what they can do and the things that they are capable of. You have amazing students! I am lucky to be a teacher at this time even though people are so rude to teachers. Let me tell you something I am a teacher and right now it is hard but it is helping me become a better educator. These are challenging times and everyone is doing the best they can. Please remember that! Be kind! If you don't have anything nice to say please don't say it! 

Now, the Jill point of view. This is the worst!  This sucks! Eat Rocks and Die COVID 19! I hate not being able to leave my house. I have found who my true friends are. I have my friends who come to me and then I go to them. I even have some who send me cookies. I am so lucky to have my friends. When I started this year I wasn't sure about it. I started a new job, I didn't have any friends and I moved to a new place. It was a lot of first for me. I have never been so unsure about anything in my life and I have done some crazy things. This school year has had its ups and downs but would I change them. No way! I have met some amazing people! I have made some friends who I hope to be friends with for a really long time. I have friends who are there for me when life is hard or when I need someone to listen to me complain about the little things. I have met some great teachers and have learned so much! I have met a really nice Kind Sir that is super funny and knows how to make the hard situations easier. He always listens to the funny stories that I get from my littles. He goes with me to help my little friend with math. That Kind Sir is definitely a saint! 

Life is hard in these crazy times. I get that, I feel that. But it doesn't mean that you need to go and be mean to others just because you are having a hard time yourself. I am not a person who is good at staying inside. I am always on the go! During this crazy time I have studied for a test that thinks it owns me. It doesn't. I will own it on June 9th if the world lets me test! I am so thankful for the people who believe in me and even the people who don't because that gives me more motivation to show you what I am capable of. I know that this test is probably silly to you but 4 years going strong, it is what I need to do to get my teaching license. I am not a quitter my mom didn't raise a quitter. 

I am off to my next adventure until next time! Peace Out Cub Scout! Work hard, play harder, Run your hardest! Don't lose sight of the end goal. Keep the Faith! 

Quarantine made my Heart Cry

I got the email I didn't want to receive my heart cried because I knew it was coming but I prayed that it wouldn't come. It came and my heart cried and I put my head down on the counter and said "WHY ME, WHY ME!" Not once did I ever care about taking this test before but this time I was so ready! I was going to pass. I was going to show that test who was boss. But the Coronavirus decided to mess up my plans. I knew I was going to pass because I had a friend on my side who believed in me. He told me he knew I would pass. That gave me so much motivation to study hard and dream bigger. I have learned over these past four days that life is so hard when you don't have friends. I learned that when you can text your friends no matter what time of day it is your days may be long but at least I know they care even if it is only for the 30 seconds it takes to send a text or to talk to me on the phone. I have learned that sometimes you have to trust your heart and not fight with it. 

Today was the first day in this whole mess that I actually broke down because I was so lonely inside no one knows what goes on in my life. No one is there to hear the complaints of my heart. No one understands that my roommate doesn't talk to me. She pays her rent so I can't complain. I just need to see someone. I need adult conversation. I need to remember that I am not alone in all of this because all of my people are going through the same thing too. I was able to get caught up on my sewing and to do the things I love but this being stuck inside is not my favorite it is so hard for me! It is teaching me that sometimes life is hard but it is worth it. Sometimes all you need is a friend who believes in you!

Until next time I am off to my next adventure.  Peace out cub scout! Play hard, work harder, run your hardest! Never lose sight of the end goal. Keep the faith!

Christ Would Serve You

Today I want to talk about something that has been weighing on my mind. With all the craziness in the world I have been thinking about my mission. My mission wasn't the greatest thing in the world and I will tell you that straight up. I won't tell you it was the best thing of my life because it wasn't, but I know it wasn't the worst thing either. As I think back the thought that keeps coming to my mind is something Elder Morse said to me in February 2014, I do not remember why or the context but he said "Christ would serve you!" Those words pierced my heart that day. It was an answer to my prayers for 12 months. Those words changed me! They made me a better missionary, a better person and helped me find the pure love of Christ. Sometimes the pure love of Christ leaves us and then once it comes back it fills that emptiness feeling in your heart. That phrase as replayed in my mind a lot this past week. It replays over and over. It reminds me that I need to let others serve me and to remember that Christ is serving me. That elder didn't know how those words impacted my life. I am so grateful for that elder. I am grateful that he was brave enough to stand up to me when I was in the wrong and to give me a kind talking to when I needed it.

I think of the world about all that is going on and how a lot of people are freaking out I honestly just am numb to the pain and the emotion of it all. I have learned how to numb the pain of lots of things over that past 7 months because when you are alone you are the only one who understands and you are the only one who can fix your problems. The world is running slim the world is having a crisis but I know with out a shout of a doubt it is in the lord's hands and it is his doing. He knows what he is doing trust him. Don't walk away because life is hard, stay close because sometimes he is all you have. I have learned that the lord knows what he is doing, I know that whatever happens will happen but I am not going to be scared anymore and I am not going to worry because it is in the lords hands and not mine. I am so thankful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints because it helps me know that everything no matter what way it should be and that know matter what I will always have a family that loves me and cares about me. I know I know the church is true even when times get hard and when I don't know what to do. I know that the lord will bless us and he loves us each and everyone of us. I know that sometimes we think he has left us but he never has. The POWER OF PRAYER IS REAL! Don't ever forget where you have been but always remember where you are going. Don't be afraid of what is coming. Keep the faith! The church is true and it always has been and always will be. "When life gets to hard to stand kneel." Life is going to knock you down but when it does go to Heaven Mart. Just remember it is on his timing not yours.

Keep the Faith!  

Please Help me Understand

Hello Blogger World,

I am frustrated and angry because I have failed one of my little friends. My little friend got suspended this week. I don't think it was fair she doesn't talk she talks to me and to one other teacher. She just got moved from her reading group to a new one. Which is totally fine but it really doesn't help her academically. It has made her shut down and all the progress we have made with her is going down the drain. She got suspended this week just because she didn't talk or explain herself. I failed this sweet girl. I wasn't there to help her and listen. As her reading teacher was yelling at her and I was just like I don't know. It was just a miss understanding. I talked to Mr. Kind Sir about it and he was like Ms. Dallon I don't understand this is so stupid! I was like you are telling me and she was going to get an award at the assembly that she missed because of suspension. I love this little girl I don't understand why it got to that point because if it would have been anyone else they would of just sent them back to me saying oh its fine we talked about it. I am sorry but please note I had a student steal and break my pens and all he got was a slap on the wrist and now when my little friend takes someone squishy by a misunderstanding and she gets suspended?! What the heck?! I talked to a case manager and she was more angry and frustrated then Mr. Kind Sir and I. I don't understand and I mean I know it is done and over with but I still don't have to like it. 

Thank you for listening to my rant. I am off to another adventure! Work hard, Play harder, Run your heart out! Keep the faith! Peace out cub scout! Over and out until next time!