Answer to my prayers

 Hello Blogger Fam! 

How lucky can a girl get?! I got to go and see my best friend in Oklahoma. It was a delay to get there but I got there and it was the best thing ever! I loved seeing her and how happy she was. I have longed for that happiness for months. Not just like fake happiness that you want people to see but true happiness. The happiness where you can see it in someone's face. I have wanted that as this school year has taken it from me it has drained me. It has pushed buttons I didn't even know I had. It has brought our fears I didn't know existed and even has shown me that you don't outgrow things. 

Oklahoma was amazing! I love the kindness of the people and the love that they had for each other. I loved to see what my friend found and the adventures we went on. 

Many people asked me why I went. I didn't only go to see my best friend I went to find myself. I went to do some soul searching, did I find what I was looking for? Yes, I did but I also learned many other things. I learned that sometimes things our out of your control and you just have to be patient and wait out the storm. I learned that I would rather be alive than dead. Before I left for Oklahoma, I had prayed many times to die and the answer was always not yet, not yet. I was done. I couldn't do it anymore. I went and came back happy and someone said I am so happy to see your smile again. The last time I lost my smile I was in a very toxic place. Smiling again and laughing has helped me make it through these past two weeks back at work. 

Work is hard and I love being a teacher but this year I was questioning my decisions, I am glad I stayed and stuck it out and never gave up. I want to share a story with you about something that has changed my perspective. I have a little friend Harley named changed. He is a very spunky, smart hardworking student, but sometimes I don't know what happens and he just goes crazy.  Recently a new adult has come to help him and can I just tell you that it has been such a blessing in my life to have this person in my classroom and in my corner. Not only does Mr. Muscles take care of Harley he helps my other friends too. He has changed the atmosphere in my classroom and has made it calmer. Mr. Muscles is truly an answer to my prayers and my mom's too. My mom hasn't had very many crying phone calls. Of I want to quit, I give up, I can't do it anymore. I think I can make it. It is amazing for me to see the change in my stress level with someone else in my classroom just to help with my special friend and my other friends too. Mr. Muscles has changed my life only in the short time he has been in my classroom and I am so grateful for that! He will never know what an impact he has had. Thank you for being an answer to my prayers! 

Life is starting to look up again. Not saying it is getting easier but it is bearable and I can breathe again. I am so thankful for a father in heaven who listens and knows what is best for me even when I don't. I am thankful to know that he is listening to all of my prayers, even the crying and pleading ones. I am thankful to know that he hears even the silent ones that no one knows.  

Well, I am off to my next adventure. Until next time Peace Out Cub scout. Work hard, Play harder, RUN YOUR HEART OUT! Never lose sight of the end goal. Keep the Faith! Peace and Love! Over and Out! When life gets hard, drink a COKE! 😊 

 

 

This is the happy girl that I knew was hiding deep down inside.