Does the Savior really know me?

Today my prayers have been answered I got everything I ever wanted for the past year. I wanted to be released from my calling and now that it's reality my heart is crying so hard. I loved to complain about how imperfect those sweet sisters where. I not once thought I was imperfect I know I am.
I got the news today my heart is crying, for two reasons. First, because it's over. I never knew how much I loved my calling until it was taken from me. I have grown closer to my Savior what people don't know. When I got this calling I was angry at the world and wanted to die. Many times I prayed to die. I pleaded to have my heavenly Father take me away from my life. That wasn't his plan. He gave me this calling to strengthen me to help me come back to him, and to keep me active.
Secondly, I will miss the closeness I have felt with the Lord. When I first started this calling I remember going on visits Thursday nights. I remember the second time I went. I met this boy we talked outside my car for awhile. Right before we went our separate ways the words Dallin can I hug you came out of my mouth, I didn't even register what I said until I was hugging him. That was the day I knew my heavenly Father loved me. He always has and always will. That was the day I felt like no one cared and I was worthless. But that day I knew Dallin did, he truly cared about me at that moment I knew heavenly Father knew me. Heavenly Father put Dallin in my life when I needed someone the most. When I was in the lowest part of my life Dallin walked in. I have had a crush on this boy. He is the sweetest thing on the planet. I know that I will never be good enough for him. He deserves only the best. He is so amazing. I am so thankful for the opportunity I have to know this boy and to have had this calling.
My life has been changed for the better. Dallin taught me so much while I was in this calling. When I felt alone Dallin would always ask how I was doing. He helped me so much. Heavenly Father knows what's best for me. He took away my calling and Dallin.
I know my heavenly Father is just shaping me into who he wants me to be. I hope one day to be good enough for someone. I am so thankful for the opportunity I have had to be apart of the relief society presidency.
I am off to my next adventure. Keep the faith! The Lord knows best! He will always love you no matter what even when you feel unlovable he will love you. He has wrapped his arms around me a few times this past month but today I feel them the strongest. Never lose sight of the end goal.